I don’t even know anymore.

My mom canceled my therapy session for yesterday and it’s a week from now. I was going to tell my therapist about my suicidal ‘attempt’ I guess you can call it, my wrist didn’t even slice so I don’t think it counts. I have been writing in a book everyday, so I can give it to her. I think telling her myself would be to hard, after that I will get sent to a mental hospital I already know. I want to be there for a long stay, not a short little one, those don’t do shit. A long stay gives them time to help you for real, not just tell you don’t do it again and be happier then send you out into the world. But, whatever, I don’t even know anymore.