Days like today sum up why I haven’t bounced back. Every time I turn to try to do something healthy/good for me I hit a wall. I want to go to the gym, hit with traffic, stress and exhaustion before I’m even half way there. I want to read a book, no focus. I want to play a game, same problem. So I have build up of frustration, build up of energy and no healthy outlet. The frustration of that inhibits my creativity and ability to adapt to these challenges. I mean, no worries the energy will eventually fade and I’ll be useless again. I can’t seem to get up earlier/start earlier to try and get up and go before the day’s frustrations attack me.
It’s worse because I always make sure other people’s projects get done. If I know someone else has a need I can rally my resources and get it done, even if I have no energy AND no focus. Yet if I want to do something for myself so I can function better, nope, all out of whatever I need. It just gets worse trying to remember how I did it before. I was a different person before. I don’t want to be relying so much on exterior circumstances to function, yet I do, over and over, day after day.
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Differing in degree only, I see some of myself in this post.