I just wanna be Not weird to the point were people think i need professional help…not saying i don’t but still like to feel normal for once in my life! i have scars Yes, I have short hair Yes, i like old school fashion, music, class….only so little no a days things! i used to do what i could to fit in, but i just couldn’t do it…it was hurting me more than me just being myself. Uhh man life so fucked…but for real its sooo hard for me to date or connect with someone because no ones on my level…not saying i’m high up but my level is weird and very very different and it also seems my view on life is very Original, Weird, Strange, not normal but some have said Beautiful…in all reality though i can’t help but feel the way i do and see the thing i see the way i see them, its just Me!!!
Sometimes dying seems like the right thing to do, and sometimes its like pulling teeth to do it! I don’t know and can’t explain why i feel this way….some days it seems like i’m over loaded with confidence and other i have none and i get sick just looking at myself! It’s a ***** tbh…i also realize i’m not the only girl who feels this way and i also realize even the girls with the best lives have problems and weather there dump as hell or real problems to them its REAL, its HARD, it’s HELL! I try my hardest to look at the good sides, in life, people, things, ext. but most the time i half to create the good! I don’t know wtf i’m even doing anymore. If were going to be real here i’m ready to leave this world and move on!!!
4 comments
Your world is usually limited when you’re in school. Once you become an adult, you can pretty much choose to live anywhere, join any community, if only you’re brave enough. So the fact that you can’t relate to kids at school might not mean much.
That said, it takes two to tango.
Keep being yourself, but let others be themselves too, then see how you can benefit each other.
Speak for yourself. I can’t even seem to “be an adult”
You’re in school, right? That can be tough but I think you’re doing it right. Be you KatRose. Enjoy music class, wear your hair and clothes how you like. Stick by what you enjoy and maybe explore your interests further. You may find some more accepting people and bond over the shared interest.
There’s so many things that others may get into, or get Into just to fit in. I can’t recommend that, don’t sacrifice who you are for appearances.
I think you’ll be okay, and it won’t always be this hard
it took me a long time to get that it does not matter what people think of you, you have to be yourself no matter what, i come from a very christian home where my mother wanted it to seem as if we were perfect and I use to try to be when I was a little girl but I also have always had a rebellious side, but I still tried to look good for my mother. Then one day I said fuck it, I’m me and if someone can’t accept that I don’t need them in my life. I’m a very hard person for people to understand, shit I wear a damn tiara when I’m in a down mood. I will ask someone i just met to play with my hair cause I like it, I get told multiple times a day how weird I am but I’m ok with it. You’ve got to be you, because once you start trying to be something your not it just gets harder to stick around. Its already hard to keep on keeping on, don’t add the stress of doing or being what your not to life. Fuck anyone who makes you feel bad for being yourself. Love you! You got this!!