so I went back to work this week for the first time in a few weeks. The work was great, I enjoyed myself, figured I was going to get decent money so I spent maybe 10 dollars on a few books I had my eye on…. then payday (today) came and I discovered an autodraft managed to hit the day before I bought my 10 dollars in two books, because it was two transactions I was hit with TWO overdraft charges, each 32 dollars. So that’s 64 right there. plus the ten I spent on books. So 74. Any guesses for how much I actually made for my two days work?
If you guessed 75 fucking dollars, you’d be right. The problem is I spent 4 dollars on lunches those two days so thanks to the bank I made -3 dollars this week. This is why I haven’t been working. I mean I plan on keeping working, but I can’t spend ANYTHING. I have never felt this fucking poor. I can’t even afford gas in my car, or food. But I don’t make ENOUGH for food stamps. They say because I am capable of work I don’t qualify as is…. if I do this for a month I can document my income and prove that my expenses by far exceed my income, then they might give me food. I don’t want to go to the food bank because the food they provide doesn’t get eaten, I have eating issues, which is a fucking horrible problem to have while in a cash crunch.
So on Monday, even though I worked my ass off, I have to go beg my parents to throw me enough work for me to eat for a week, and gas up my car. I hate asking for the help. I hate being this helpless. I would much rather just spiral down a BIT more and get disability… but that isn’t an option because I have to fucking eat…..
You know money is the most bullshit thing in the world right? I mean it doesn’t even exist, it’s like santa claus. I mean you could say Santa exists because there is merch for him and kids believe, but come on. Money is like that, it’s a bs concept come up with to replace barter. The only problem is that the people at the top have figured out how to pile it up into huge piles that they never use except to order others around. Money is the greatest scifi fantasy of them all, because a rich man can walk into a room and offer 10k and we’d all do practically ANYTHING for it, meanwhile he makes more on the interest to his money than that. I’m not going to get into the deserving vs undeserving debate…. I’m just saying it’s a huge pile of bull that I am expected to whore myself out to eat. Fuck eating, Fuck life, and Fuck money. I don’t think it’s people directly that are BS, it’s fucking money, the economic system that created an ever growing poverty class.
I want to emphasize I’m not poor, I have health insurance, own a house with a mortgage and my car I own outright. I have some decent stuff, because I saved for it back when I could work. I’m not selling it because I would get a penny on every dollar I spent. It’s worth more to me as is. Further if we reach the point of leaving the house I can take my stuff and store the best of it somewhere while I live…. where-ever people the economy has decided aren’t worth fucking with go.
4 comments
That is absolutely horrible. I agree on every.rhing.you.said. Fuck this money driven evil. I woildnt get on disability. It is a trap you will NEVER escape. Ypu have a better chance, free, working. They dont give much in food stamps, 100$ or so a month. I cant afford to eat, im starving and scared and alone. Food helps me relax. But i cant afford to relax. So i worry. And plan my self delieverance…
I know better.
it’s just frustrating that working…. there’s never a status of enough work…. not at present…. I’m working to try and reduce the burden I am on my family, and it isn’t fucking working. Even 100 bucks a month would be more than my family can afford right now. Last time I applied for food stamps they denied me because I couldn’t prove that I couldn’t work….. it’s taken 12 months of being sick and doctor visits to get me to where I can work a few days a week, which isn’t enough, but I like working….. *shrug* it’s late at night, I always feel hopeless when I can’t sleep.
I wish I could help you kind stranger….. I would make you eggs, and toast. The funny thing is I can cook for other people, but not for myself.
Well you do own a house, a car and have health insurance so your 3 steps above me. However, I agree money really is the power of this world. Morals don’t matter, love doesn’t matter, friendship doesn’t matter, kindness doesn’t matter, nothing matters in this world but money and with it the world is your play toy. You can make anyone do anything for you, you can have any wife you want, any home you want, anything is yours all you do is point. It’s pathetic, the rich get richer easily because they can just collect interest and the poor get poorer because everyone is striving to make enough just to put food in their mouths.
I know, which is why I hate complaining about money. I’m a rich man, especially for my age, but I didn’t do it on purpose, these are the bribes I keep getting from people that want me to believe in money. I hate being told my views aren’t valid because I have shelter, transportation and sometimes food. I know it’s worse, because I am riding a rail trying to keep what I have. These things we own, they start to own us over time. Today I had a panic attack because I can’t clean this fucking house, I literally cannot keep up. What a first world problem right? It’s like not knowing what to watch on TV, how lucky I am to have tv and a computer. These aren’t prizes, they are SHACKLES. I scream it at people with more and less than me. These are not possessions, they are weights that will hold you down, and you’ll NEVER get back up. I made quite a few smart decisions when I was younger, and I’ve spent what I got well, but now I’m living on the rich peoples table scraps, and it breaks my heart to beg.