Almost Made a Scene at Work

I keep being told that I’m doing a good job, only been critiqued on one thing, but then well I wasn’t in trouble or anything like that. He said he wants to focus on zoning things in the store, since that was my strong point, and that we have too many employees and the plants have enough water due to the rain.

I’ve worked too many jobs to know where this heading, Yeah, they’re going to soften the blow, this is why I never believe the good comments, then they’ll laid you off because you were not needed enough for the company. I have noticed that there hardly anything to do at the store, This doesn’t help. I know that the store isn’t going to need a zoner when they can have other employees stock the shelves to do this. This is why I don’t want to work anymore. I’ve been laid-off on all my jobs, and it becomes too much of a coincidence to be bad luck, yet I’m going to be pushed into the job market. Just a bad fat reminder that you’re not good enough, while the other people around can still keep their jobs for over a year.

I always keep anger inside, but let some of it slip. I was carrying boxes to the machine, but halfway I threw them on the ground and walked off. A lady kept asking what was wrong. I didn’t want to answer, but I she asked again pushing my buttons. I yelled that I wish that I never fucking born, then continued to walk away.

God, I’m such a failure. I’m going to be 50 years old in the far future, and still won’t make enough to take care of myself. Soon, I’m going to be married to big daddy government. Thought that if I worked a little harder that I’ll have an independent life like you’re suppose to do, but I did was run up debt and made everything worse. No medicine, or counseling can solve my problems because they can’t be solved. I can’t have the very thing I want. I’m just a big, fat, ugly, talentless, worthless, can’t do anything right, hack with fucking vagina strapped between my legs. For the love of Prime, just give me a bullet between the eyes!!!!!