Tonight, the realization that I’m insignificant in every way and will never amount to anything is really fucking me up.
Why do I need to do something with my life in order to be happy? Why can’t I just live? Why can’t I be okay with being forgotten and replaced?
I don’t like standing out negatively. I hate being a crazy, ugly, socially-inept freak. But I also don’t like being invisible, and those are my only two options, it seems. In fact, in a way, I’m already both at once. Isn’t that funny?
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No it’s not funny. I wish I was invisible. I wish I were self sustaining. Sadly, I’m useless
Well, if it means anything, I wish I could give you my invisibility.
Well, you can also see this as a good thing. It’s a revelation for what you want in life. You want to live a significant life that amounts to something. However, those things are a bit subjective, so you’ll have to ask yourself what a significant life looks like. It’s impossible to assume that you’ll never be able to achieve those things. And, yes, that’s even with considering the things you’re dealing with. So, why not just try to go for it? From your posts and comments on here you definitely seem capable enough.