Dear parents,
I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t make good enough grades. I’m sorry that I can’t live up to your expectations.
Dear friends,
I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship with you. I’m sorry we lose connection after a short while. I’m sorry I never stayed.
Dear myself,
I’m sorry I was ever born. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry if I put you down. I’m sorry I made you miserable.
8 comments
Expectations – (N) eck-speck-TAY-shuns – the unwarranted belief that another person will behave in a certain way, usually resulting in disappointment on the part of the holder of the expectation when the person upon whom the ignorant expectation was so rudely imposed behaves in a manner indicative of their true nature.
We cause our own disappointments when we EXPECT others to be what they cannot be or do. You are not to blame for being you. Put that guilt squarely where it belongs – on their shoulders.
Not my fault my parents want me to be like them and have straight A’s.
Dear Mehikka,
all these things can be changed…
<3
Clearly they can’t or I would not have said them
[1]
If you tell me what subjects you take
& you tell me which parts you do not understand
& I happen to manage to explain to you the things you don’t understand
then I help you with your homework
& I help you with your assignments / projects
Why can we not expect that your grades would improve?
[2]
If we manage to make a commitment,
to stay in touch with the friends you lost connection with
&/or new friends…
& by commitment, I mean something we follow as if your own life depends on it
If manage to do this…
Why can we not expect that your friends will stay connected to you & you to them?
[3]
We can not change the fact that you’v been born
but I personally consider this to be a good thing
because I see you as a beautiful human being & a blessing
to your sister
to me
& to anyone around you
But we can change the other things you mention…
If you hurt yourself, put it down, or made it miserable…
we can heal the pain by removing whatever caused the hurt or replacing it with something good & pleasant [or at least, useful] that could take its place
we can make yourself proud by fighting back & doing something useful with your time [one small step at a time]
& If we do all the above
Why can we not expect that you wouldn’t feel “miserable” any more?
I feel you, especially with the whole friends thing. I pretty much avoid all my friends anymore, I can’t stand being out anywhere, feeling so worthless, feeling like such a failure hearing about their wonderful lives and their goals all while looking at myself wondering why I’m even alive. If only my heart would just stop beating and I could go to sleep forever.
Honestly though, I think were harder on ourselves more then anyone else really is. People don’t really judge us like we judge ourselves. For example, I have acne and sometimes I don’t even want to look at anyone else or go out because I think it’s so embarrassing, and yet others will tell me they didn’t even know I had acne or that it’s not even noticeable but yet to me it’s the whole world.
Very beautiful message you sent to yourself. I can only say that all these things can be changed and there´s more to life than getting a degree. Go out and explore this big planet we where born in, search for what could give your life a whole different meaning! I wish you the best truly it pains me to see good people die everyday hope these people had found a different meaning and made good in this world.