I bring along melancholia and bad luck wherever I pass by. I’m disgusting and always try to hide this fact. I made several cuts but the disgust did not went. It grew and stung like a bee. I’m incompetent. I’m less in every thing. I’m not even possible. I’m never needed only forced. I don’t measure… Iam a burden. Never enough for any situation any place any person.. FAIL.
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Hey, you’re back. What did you do with your other posts?
Luck can be changed. In fact, luck changes all the time (just ask any gambler).
You’re in a bad place right now. No, bleeding isn’t going to let it out.
What’s going on?
They took space here.
So add them to this!
Deleted.
Hmph.
I don’t know, you seem cool to me!
I know, right?
Most Definitely
Super Cool I might add
Double ‘yep’
Hi Forevertorn, you’re most certainly not the Grim Reaper, incompetent, disgusting, or less in everything. Your posts are always intriguing and your interactions on here are always amiable and kind.
Life is fluid, and there’s always the possibility that you will find yourself in an environment where you are needed, and where people appreciate you for who you are.
Thank you sadpotato. I felt a heated rage.. my ears ring with insults and there’s too much depth in them to be able to knock them out. I don’t think I can stand myself more.
I understand, some insults cut deeply. However, try to discard them from your mind. Insults from others have no worth or use whatsoever, and they don’t reflect who you are. Insults, by their very nature, are meant to hurt, and that’s it. That’s their sole purpose. Maybe go treat yourself to something yummy or a pleasurable activity. Just so that you can put a little distance between that incident and yourself. And try to focus on the good parts of you, because there definitely are, and try to ignore the perceived bad things.
@Forevertorn
I just wrote you a humorous comment, about an hour ago, about how it feels to me that a tree has been cut every time you delete a post of yours… because they’re so amazing
but when you say these things about yourself… this is what really hurts me…
I can confirm to you that you are not half of these things you say
& the other unconfirmed half, if assumed to be true, CAN be changed
please “try” to take this to heart… 🙁
Farahlejeen I will try not to delete my posts from now.
well, though the other part is 1 million times more important…
I’ll take this one for now
Thank you… 🙂
it’s hard for me to comment on your posts because for some reason I’m always under this impression that you have already had that discussion on your mind before publishing your post. as if you have figured it all out already. hard to explain.
that’s how I feel too, sadly… 🙁
if she could just believe there’s a 1% chance that she might be wrong about how she sees herself…
🙁
even just a 1%
I think she’s super smart. Being so utterly self aware about your flaws and being too smart is a bad combination. You just keep criticizing youself and exaggerating them to a level that it becomes unbearable.
perfectly said
Yes fally I know exactly what you mean. It’s okay I understand you don’t have to drop in a comment it’s the inside of me burning like a hell fire… I’m barely able to stand myself. This is getting so filled like the world crashing down on me and whatever methods I have to cope are exhausting. This total failure feeling is wreaking my body. I kept touching my face for an hour but I saw I’m severely depersonalised to an incurable extent. I venture outside and if I have to eat something, I know I can only eat if it’s really there! I keep walking on because to me it doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be there if I go close.
I think she’s super smart. Being so utterly self aware about your flaws and being too smart is a bad combination. You just keep criticizing youself and exaggerating them to a level that it becomes unbearable.
Iam not super smart. I’m not utterly self aware. And I refrain from criticizing myself on any or every occasion I find just for the sake! Or exaggerate. Or maybe you are right maybe I have gotten into a natural habit of not letting go of my flaws. One main problem is the conditioning that I’ll always be wrong.. and these childhood lessons are not something easy to get rid of. When all the events come to you all at once on a regular basis it becomes a sure way to take away any pint of good you tried to think about yourself.
you know, I used to date a girl who was almost as smart as you. the conversations I had with her, are some of the most profound dialogues I’ve had with anyone. just like you, she was perfect at analyzing and rationalizing everything that was not about her(which is something I have noticed about you from your comments on other people’s posts) and just like you, when it came to her own problems, suddenly her thoughts and conclusions were all abstract and exaggerated.
I have absolutely no doubt about you being very smart.
I think I know where your frustration comes from, there are occasions that when I look at my decisions in the past, I feel like I had everything I needed to do the right thing, as if even the universe itself was trying to show me the right way, all the guidance that I needed was there and I still chose the wrong way and made the worst decisions ever. I feel like everyone would’ve made the right call if they were in my shoes. as if I’m the manifestation of idiocy and I have every reason to think so. considering the conditioning helps to an extent but it just doesn’t lessen the pain because I have to live with the lasting consequence of those decisions.
Right? ? Her posts are filled with insight and awareness.
I’m a bit late in the day responding to this.
I, for one, find your train of thoughts fascinating. I don’t know you, only your words, and am reading them now, except I have to ask myself if these are “your” words, or the words of those around you who have so eloquently shared with you the dissatisfaction you have caused them by simply being yourself? Your words are familiar to me, they are the same words I heard, and still do at times, from people who “cared.” From people who selfishly held me up to the magnifying glass of their expectations and found that I just didn’t meet their lofty goals.
You are you. I doubt I’m telling you anything you don’t already know, but would ask you to join me in raising a stout middle finger high in the air to all the people who are so disappointed in what we have become.
You are insightful, attuned to a higher frequency, and aware of a realm of living that the “normal ” will probably never have the privilege of knowing. You are not what you have been told you are.
Chip Thank you that means a lot to me. Your comment really soothes. Thank you for understanding so much.
I have this feeling that it;s what expects from herself that hurts her the most and not meeting other’s expectations. dunno. I could be wrong.