I don’t want to be suicidal. I don’t want to feel as though the only way to make things better for everyone is through my absence. But that’s always where I seem to end up.
Too many feelings all at once
I don’t know how to stop
Wish it would end
I don’t want to be here
It hurts to be alive
It hurts to hurt you
I’m tired of trying, of being, of
Why can’t I be normal??!?!??!!?!??!!?!??!?!?
What is my purpose
Why am I here
Jumbled thoughts running through my head
Just keep living
One more day
Make it to the next
I am calm
The storm has passed
More like locked away
But we don’t talk about that
I never talk about it
Don’t want to burden you
Can’t have you worried about me
Keep it close so you won’t change around me
I’m still the same me
I promise
Nothing to see here
I’m not broken
So many have it worse than me anyway
What is my excuse
I have not one
What’s my suffering compared to hers?
Help
Hope?
Carry on as before
Nothing’s happened
Everything’s fine.
1 comment
Everything’s not fine… You can’t just lock away your suffering – it will always come back to haunt you. Don’t compare your pain to others. Everyone struggles, yes, but it doesn’t make your pain less valid. It is valid. It is true.
It’s okay to struggle, to feel overhelmed, just too much. Whatever you went through – it doesn’t matter. You deserve to be heard and to feel well. You’re not a burden and you are heard and seen here.
Hang on there.