Stressed about this New Job

I got hired. How the fuck did I get hired for a job, where I purposely tried to fail the interview? Either they’re desperate, or I suck at failing. I could just turn this job down, but I hope to get some dough to go to truck driving school, but even that is wishful thinking. Silly girl, still thinking that you’re going to go somewhere in life. Just wait, my parents will ruin it. How dare me try to make something of myself. Truck driving sounds more awesome than being a nurse, which my parents didn’t support either. They just want me working mediocre jobs with little pay, or doing nothing at all. I wish my parents never gave birth to me.

It’s not doing the work that I’m worried about it. It’s the people. I can’t deal with them. Every little thing they do either annoy or upset me. I’m going to called these little nicknames such as baby girl, sweetie, or darling. I am getting tired of the nicknames like no one takes me seriously. I’m going to be asked questions like “Do you have a boyfriend?” as if it’s any of there business. If I help a customer, especially if it’ a man, he will make a comment. I’m going to have co-workers undressing me with their eyes, or trying to brush my ass, and then when I complain to the manager, he or she will not believe me. The manager will probably say that he just being nice, or is trying to make friends, more like friends with benefits. I told them that sexual harassment will happen in the interview, so why did they still hire me? Probably the number one thing that would get me kicked out the door, but no, it doesn’t happen because God hates me.

None of these men want to date me. They will either play mind games, or then avoid me afterwards. I do not put out, so why are they doing this? Men ruin my life. I will only stay in the car between breaks, and even then I worry about them approaching me when I’m the car. Men do not respect my boundaries. What is this some kind of bullying? I am so tired of people thinking that just because having a man pay any attention will make my problems go away. No, they make my problems worse. They make my depression worse. I am going to simply water the plants, so its not my job to entertain them. I want to be left alone, why can’t anyone comprehend this?

Plus, last night. I prayed to God to make me infertile. I told God that I didn’t like him, that he loves making miserable, and he never tried to build a relationship with me so why make me infertile and make me as poor as possible to booth?

I feel like cutting my carotid artery. I’m just waiting for my last suicide attempt to die down. Just let me die, you sick fucks.

Any advice on how to make these men leave me? Why are they doing this? My best option is to never befriend men, and ignore them as much as possible. Keep my personal life separated from my work life. When alone, and a guy approaches, walk away. How do you properly cut the carotid artery. Also, I promise that once I’m dead, men can do whatever they like with my body.

It’s raining outside. My kind of weather. I wish it would rain, forever.