This is future me yo and I know lately you’ve been falling apart and things have not been okay for a while and I’m just going to be as honest as it gets. You won’t feel alright for a while you are going to hurt something you just will you’re going to sit on the floor screaming with your hand over your mouth to not make a sound, pulling your hair and trying to tear your skin off your bones you’re gonna fall asleep with tears burning holes in your warm cheeks like acid and you’ll wish you’d never wake up, you’ll wish for nothing more than to die and be free. But you’re going to wake up, you always will, but be glad it does stop hurting and I know right now feels eternal I know right now feels like this pit of self hate and disappointment forming inside you and you can’t breathe and you’re hurting in a way no one could ever understand as words can only go so far. I know suicide seems like the answer I know you’ll think about it way more than normal, you think no one cares about you but I promise you, you’re going to meet some people that care about you without a doubt do. Cause even through all this pain you gotta remember the good. And it won’t happen overnight loving yourself takes time but there are just so many beautiful reasons to be happy and that negative voice inside your head is not you and you’re pretty dank kid and sure we have only existed for a short amount of time but we are apart of something beautiful and amazing and there’s just so much left. New music, new movies, new experiences. Why give up so quickly? Those cuts and bruises and broken hearts become the past and every day I wish I could talk to you face to face and tell you not to that it’ll all be okay. You cut your skin like paper it seemed so simple but left a scar and now I never hear the end of it and I try to look at the positive but sometimes its hard I know things were so hard and just awful but I promise you things get better when you decide you deserve better. Life is like an ocean it can be calm and still or rough and tough and beat you up but in the end, I swear to you it’s beautiful. And if nothing had ever gone wrong I could’ve never been this strong I could’ve never been able to stand here and do so much as breathe cause I would’ve kept trying to kill myself. There is just so much I could say but the only words you really need to know is it’ll be okay in the end we make it out smiling brighter than ever.
3 comments
Yu positive asshole
Hey good idea.i’ll write one to me. You’ll spend your entire waking life either wanting to be dead or being molested.
Thank you for sharing. Looks like you’ve come a hell of a long way. You also describe that desperation well. It really helps me when people put words to their suffering, as I often find it difficult to express my own. I think the first step to a better place is breaking the silence.