I am addicted to dysfunction.
I wonder if it was all the dramas my aunt made me watch when I was younger.
My ex cheated 6 months ago when I was recovering from my stroke and having multiple surgeries. Even after all the pain he caused, I still miss him everyday.
Every moment, every hour, every minute I wish I was with him. I’ve dated around, but everyone fails in comparison (I try hard not to compare).
I understand Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction (although as an animal lover, I’d never harm an animal).
My ex is not the most attractive guy and he has many faults, but I still love him.
I feel constant heartache and worthlessness.
He broke my spirit, my ability to laugh, my ability to smile.
Yet, I still love and miss him everyday.
I have guys who say they’d marry me in a heartbeat, but I don’t want any of them.
I really wish things were different.
4 comments
You’re speaking my heart. Been away from my ex for 3 months, and even though she has done a lot of shit with me, I’ve not been able to think about anyone else ever since she left. Whenever I imagine myself dating someone other than her, it just seems so bland and meaningless.
I understand, sorry that you’re going through this. I get depressed when I think of my ex with the other girl. I get extremely depressed when I think they could get married or have kids.
Sorry this is so fucked up for you as well. Every time I thought of her with another guy, it made me panic really bad, until at some point I couldn’t hold it together anymore and went to a doctor in the middle of the night to get some pills to knock me out. Whenever I start visualizing her with another guy in my mind, I have to force myself to think of something else just so that I don’t freaking break down again. Just the thought of her doing all the things with someone else that we used to do together is agonizing.
I lost memory from my Stroke, and yet I remember everything pertaining to him. Wish it took my memories. I have insomnia, partially from my stroke and partially from my heartache. It is very fucked up, and the sad thing is I’m pretty sure he moved on almost instantaneously.