Nothing makes sense anymore. What am I even doing here, living this meaningless life. Not one of the things I do during my days is something that makes me happy, it’s all merely so that I can hold on to this pretense of normality. I want to give up and stop caring, I want to let myself fall, want to surrender everything that is me. I want to forget who I am, want to forget what is expected of me. Just go blank. Nothingness, it seems so appealing.
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3 comments
Don’t lose hope,
keep in mind all the things I’ve said, look at where I was and where I am, we both lost our worlds , soul mates, 2 years and I haven’t gotten over it, but I’m in a good place and I’m moving forward, you can get here too.
Seems you like to write… Yeah nothingness it sounds great… I’m planning on killing myself soon…. hopefully before the end of year… but that’s the only plan I’ve had since 2013. And it’s always “hopefully before the end of the year”
Some stupid fucker always ruins it for me. And not even good people either, really shitty people that don’t deserve a second of anyone’s time.
I think I’ll wait till I get my license back and jump off a bridge. I can’t think of another way. I’ve been brainstorming. I want to kill myself this week. I wanted to kill myself last week. Wanted to kill myself last month. Wanted to kill myself the month before that. No way to, so far. Have to die soon. I hate this fucking place!!
The thought is if you fall but still live you will reach a point where you have the desire or need to climb back up. And giving in to temptation makes that so much more difficult. I would rather give up but as things stand not an option.