I can’t really open up to normies, not only because they wouldn’t understand, but also because they would likely judge me and what I am going through. With other people that are familiar with and have themselves experienced depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm and extreme desperation though, it feels like I already know a part of them even if I have never met them before. It’s a relieving experience talking to someone in person that knows what it’s like, reassuring each other, knowing that one isn’t alone in this world with what one is going through.
Does anyone feel the same way? Do you have connections to “normal folks” that you deeply cherish, even though they’re not aware of your problems or are aware but can’t really understand?
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There are people that have hard time to connect. There are also those that are always disconnected despite the possibility of sympathy and understanding. I’m the latter.
Normies, hm? That suits them rather well.
Well, I don’t have a hard time to connect in general, just with people that don’t know what it’s like. Guess I’m the latter as well.
I definitely can relate. I haven’t told anyone in my personal life anything about my struggles over the years. I’ve always made up excuses about why I “look so sad” or why I had cuts on my arms and legs. Opening up is really hard in general but especially when you don’t feel like people will be able to understand and remain judgment free. There are times when I’m tempted to share though, because I’m so desperate to talk. I’ll say something small and nonspecific and hope they catch on, but it normally doesn’t get anywhere.
Same here. My family doesn’t know, and I don’t intend to change that. They know my life isn’t problem-free, but they don’t know how troubling it actually is. I never cut myself, but I assume it’s close to impossible to hide that from close ones, or isn’t it? When I’m around my family, I am always careful not to say anything that could hint at what I am going through. But around some of my friends (at least those that I know are struggling as well) it’s kind of “testing the waters” like you pointed out to find out what their reaction would be.
I am seeing a therapist once a month, and I am always looking forward to it, because I know I can talk freely and open up. It’s not the same as talking to someone that’s in a similar situation of course, but still. She’s been the only person in the past couple of years who I could consistently go and talk to about my problems, so I am quite glad I reached out back then.
“Those people” “normies” Just don’t want to talk about anything “depressing” as it spoils their party UNTIL some tragedy befalls them. Then they expect others to listen to them extensively. The message was sent LOUD AND CLEAR by my family when I was a teenager that they didn’t want to hear it. I listened to a lot coming out of their mouths though. Especially how accomplished they were and how they put this person or that person “in their place”. Tremendous ego driven shit. I once stopped talking for about 2 years and no one noticed. Most of them are dead now but my mind is still haunted. I have to make a concentrated effort to control my thoughts.
Yeah I have similar issues…
Also cannot and couldn’t connect with my parents because they are living in some kind of fantasy world where repression works…not for me. Maybe I’m the one expressing my family’s repressed crap…
Cant relate with most people whether suicidal or not, but yes they understand how it is to be suicidal… They aren’t constantly trying to force life onto others. Normal people on the other hand are bent on forcing life onto others and telling them that they are selfish if they wanna die, they like guilt tripping…