Each day, I find more than anything, that aside from the immediate problems in my life; bills, friends, school, etc… I have this feeling of longing. For what? I’m not sure. I feel it when I shower, when I am driving, when I am about to sleep. At the times most peaceful, there is a longing. A draw towards something that I am missing. Each day it gnaws at me more and more, only adding to my frustration and despair. Is it you, my beloved, that I am longing for? No, it can’t be, you’ve long forgotten about me. Is it for money? Financial security? Unlimited wealth? No, it can’t be, everyone knows happiness isn’t bought, and I am well-off enough. Is it success? Perhaps, but how can I strive for success when I haven’t planned for a future? What is this longing. This empty space inside my heart..
I feel so conceded posting on here. My life is fine, great even. I am well-off, I am attractive enough, I am intelligent enough, my friends, albeit weird, are loyal. Why am I sad? My life is fine… but this hole inside me grows greater each day. Pushing me closer to the edge, when I finally throw in the towel, and with it, my life.
2 comments
If you’ve lost someone you love, of great importance the hole could be that, it makes sense.
Maybe you are simply longing for a change, a difference in life.
You can have it “all” and still feel incomplete simply because life is ever changing, you are constantly growing, life doesn’t complete until death, death is the end, maybe you are subconsciously longing for the end.
Maybe a purpose,
I don’t know either,
Can only make guesses, hope you find what it is you are looking for.
The sense of emptiness doesn’t pick and choose who to consume by the amount of money, friends or beauty they have. Just because you consider yourself “luckier” than others doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to feel sad or empty sometimes. It’s all in us. But the selected ones seem to have missed out on something that everyone else got the memo for. Do you feel like there’s something missing? I do. What once was there got stolen by something dark and selfish. I’m missing a bigger purpose in life – something that’ll motivate me to stay focused, think properly and strive for something I really care about. Some people are luckier because they’ve found something like that. But I know we’ll find something. That’s what I’m holding onto.