said like Sarah, but spelt without the H. And today is the 21st July, an important date because it’s one month before my school starts and also the day where I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I have lost.
everyone likes winning, right? Today I realised that all my problems in life are my fault. Tough blow, even for me. It was like the biggest kick to the stomach – and it would’ve hurt badly if I could feel anything. You see, the thing is, although all my problems are my fault, the most ironic thing is that I can’t do anything to change them.
I look like me. I talk like me. I sound like me. I sound like the person who would do anything, solve all her problems with one stone. That person can bring herself out of this mess. She wins. She makes other people jealous because of who she is as a person. And although I talk like her, I am not her. I realise I haven’t been for a while.
If you see her around, slap her. Really hard. Tell her to wake up and get over herself.
2 comments
Sorry, I’m a Quaker and we eschew violence.
You need to learn the difference between fault and responsibility. Also, there is a huge gray area of crap you may have inherited from old people.
There is no winning. Life isn’t a destination; it is a journey.
Yes, you may have a shitstorm of a journey right now. That doesn’t mean it will continue to be an unchangeable shitstorm. You are spectacularly bad at predicting the future.
Don’t get over yourself. Forgive yourself. Don’t wake up! You seem to be under the impression there is some kind of objective reality. There ain’t. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Find a dream that works and stick with it.
Immense powers are at your command to change things. You just gotta take off the blinders.
Don’t be yourself! Try for a happy medium between the best you are right now and the average of the better person you want to be. It’s always going to be two steps forward, one step back. Have faith in the law of averages and learn to dance.
Hey Sara
I’m Farah
🙂
Of course, as much as I’m not happy with the fact that you’re on a suicide site
still
Hello & Welcome !
<3
Sara, it's okay
I can relate to that feeling
of seeming to be someone
when in fact you're still not quite that person you seem/look/sound to be
that is fine
& I think everyone who thinks in such a deep self-reflective manner as you
must have experienced that feeling at least one time in their lives
it's okay Sara
we take time to become the people we "want" to be
the people we "seem" to be but are "still" not being
<3
I also understand how heavy it could be
to see that you are at fault
but we are all human beings
& it's a natural, even required, part of life that we make mistakes…
as much as it would be awesome & amazing
life is not meant to be heaven
& so making mistakes is a must
& I know it must weigh down on you sweetness
& there must be so much pain for you to be here writing this
but Sara please don't give up love
okay
<3
there is always always a chance to move on
to grow
to change things
or watch things change as time goes by
or at least at least
to accept what has happened & to leave the past behind & look ahead to the future…
I know you still haven't talked much here or mentioned any details
& I can't guess what has happened
but regardless,
I want you to know that I'm here with you Sara
& that it's okay
<3<3<3
I'll leave you my email here
in case you ever feel uncomfortable talking here & wish to email me
it's
farahlajeennouraldeen.1@gmail
please know you're most most most welcome to contact me any time you wish
okay love
<3
tc
& please please please
give yourself time to think & talk about things
okay
Big Big Big Hug to you & Lots & Lots of Love
<3 <3 <3