I am ONLY interested in hearing the opinions of those obsessed with training AND strength.
That includes steroid users and/or body builders and only those of average to above average height. I ONLY want to hear the opinions of the obsessed.
I used to be one of the most obsessed humans when it came to training but I was defeated by my height.
I did many things like get mvp of track the first yr I joined when I used to go to highschool, almost maxed the machines I used (like 90% of thier max). Lifted a 20lb dumbbell around once every 2 seconds without stopping so around 1800 times per arm.
17k pushups with 45lb in a month. 1k in the low 40 min mark. Was able to do 100 pushups in 1 min and 20 sec as a 12 year old. Could do 300 back to back in 1 min and 20 sec each with 45 lb and a 10 second interval in between each (so 4 min and 30 sec for 300 pushups with 45lb), liked to lift 50lb dumbbells etc, etc, etc. I’m really cutting it short. I always liked wearing weights all over my body. I always loved training in EVERY single way possible. Every kind of stretch. Every kind of exercise the human body could do. I was defeated at age 16.5. I trained METHODICALLY for 4.5 years and have been suicidal for a little over 5 years (I am 22). I stopped training because I didn’t know I was a pathetic degenerate until I was 16.5 as that’s when I realized I wasn’t going to grow taller anymore (I’ve been this height since the age 13-14)
Point is I loved training with heavy weights and loved doing conditional regime too. It’s a long story but let’s just say I ONLY lived to train. Every single day. The first thing I would do when I would wake up would be 1,000 pushups with 45 lb and would always strive to do them faster. I lived to train… Not to go out (except when I ran), not to “party”, not to alcohol, not to enter an intimate relationship. I’ve never done any of that and don’t regret it one bit.
If anything, I used to have the mentality that I was above those things since they symbolized weak will power to me and because those things are common, I felt above this world.
I SACRIFICED ALL my free time to train and only to train. I think I was one of the most obsessed humans to have EVER been born but being a midget fucked my brain up.
Prolong depression shrinks parts of the brain that deal with memory and emotions and I know this damaged me greatly.
http://sciencenordic.com/depression-can-damage-brain
“Up to 20 percent of depression patients never make a full recovery.” (I KNOW this is me) Honestly, I feel messed up.. it’s been 5 years of this..
Anyways, if you were 5’5, would you kill yourself? I never wanted sex. I never wanted drugs. All I wanted was to unlock my FULL POTENTIAL and then die (I wasn’t depressed when I wanted to kill myself before, it was more for symbolic reasons). I wanted to be like a flare. Very bright and then die off. I don’t know why, but that is just how I used to be. I used to be very into stuff like divinity and purity. I used to be proud over not doing weak willed things that everyone else does. I feel tainted now. Once you lose purity, you can’t get it back.
I wish I could have my daily , methodical routine back. Every day it was the same exact cycle basically. Every single day and though others may hate that, I LOVED it. I wanted to break world records before to prove my obsession as the ultimate one but that ship has sailed. I am not me anymore. Even when I was out, if I had nothing to do, I would use these things: https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.3oCf_GW6y1N_GiIF-Un4qQEsEs&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300
I HAD to be doing something 24/7. Now I am so defeated..
I feel like being a midget stole my identity. I never feel like the real me. The height surgeries are expensive. I wanted 3 but I am not going to make it.. I live near a bridge and every day I want to jump.
Only those who value masculinity and understand the hells of emasculation can understand me. Emasculation is a worthy reason to die in my eyes. What is a man without his manhood?
So again, would you kill yourself for being short?
(again, I am only interested to hear the opinions of those that are/were obsessed with training, will power, strength, and dominance).
You want to freaking know what the worst part is? All my progress went down the toilet meaning I would basically have to start over from square one (12 year old self) AND I am not willing to start over until I get the surgeries but even with all 3, I KNOW it’s too late. I just won’t ever be the real me ever again. That bridge just looks more and more tempting.
12 comments
You know that you may be the person to start a weight lifting league specifically for little people if you want to, right? As a matter of fact, all you would need is to go for it, idk if you’d need a business degree. Just sponsors, lawyers, and a dream. That way you’d make a lot of money in order to work out, and you could facilitate things so that NOBODY would ever have to go through this… Just saying.
Not that simple. Height was essential for my dream. I already stopped for 5 years. I will never accept this. I’m better than this. Too bad it is some sort of cosmic joke that my surgeries are so expensive. It’s already too late for me.
Hey water, seriously do this TODAY. Go buy some motorcycle boots with heels, Harley boots or something cool. I’m average height but I’ve always been shy because I was skinny growing up (that changed physically but mentally I still feel scrawny). I got a pair of biker boots, and I swear they make me feel a foot taller and confident. The heel is probably just 1.5″ but I guarantee it makes a huge difference in your perspective.
Idea #2 – I know your training has been interrupted by depression, but that means you should change things up. Have you thought of augmenting it with martial arts? I have a story there. When I first started learning martial arts, one of the instructors was this short guy, shorter than 5’5″. For about half a second, I thought to myself “this guy is short” but then I quickly learned he was a master at the art, total discipline with every muscle in his body, and as a person he was both intense and funny (in other words confident). To this day when I think of him, I never think of “the short guy” but instead I remember him as that awesome perfect human machine. It sounds like you were on your way to being the same physically. Some karate/kungfu/etc would be icing on the cake.
Last thought about depression and training in general. I work out every day, but it’s not helping. I get a momentary high while at the gym, but then everything seems so pointless and depression swings back hard. But I know if I stop training I’ll become twice as depressed. So I force myself to go. My question to you & anyone else who trains like a lunatic, if you force yourself do you eventually start enjoying the workouts again? Or is it smarter to take a break for a few days or weeks? I tried taking a break but the depression was unbearable after 3 days off I had to go back, but that’s not doing much. It’s just slowing the downward spiral. Any thoughts on that?
I used to train everyday and it was the only reason I had so much energy. I never had to force myself since it was basically a part of me. I wouldn’t take breaks unless I fell ill so basically, I would literally train hours a day for 4.5 years.
I can’t start over without my surgeries unfortunately, I just won’t allow it but chances are very high that I am not going to make it. I was too damaged by this humility. Too much shame over having a toddler’s body. That prideful version of me is dead.
Yea I get it. Theoretically you can start over but nothing has changed so you’ll end up right back here. That’s my problem too, I developed a condition which people say is no big deal, but it’s a big deal to me and as long as I’m like this, I’m screwed. Worth killing yourself over? My honest answer is yes because that’s my plan. Everyone’s reason for living/dying is equally pointless so why not just pick a reason and do it (either live or die). I know that’s not very supportive but it’s honest.
Well, the strongest person to ever walk the earth was around 5′ 5”, by historical records. Just an fyi.
You get it. It’s extremely rare to have someone agree with me on this.
A couple years ago, I was forced to the mental institute since I basically tried dying due to this height.
He asked me why I wanted to die.
I told him, “just because of my height”.
He said, “that’s it”?
Funny. He was shorter than me and was okay with it which showed already that he was nothing like me. He compared me to himself but what he didn’t get is that he was comparing apples to oranges.
I have other pretty big problems with life but none of them get to me like my height does. The fool did not understand.
Person obsessed with training more than anything else in this world = apple
everyone else = orange
You are right. I can’t train again because nothings changed. That’s why I needed the surgery. To feel a literal change. Without my surgeries, I just don’t have my drive. Even with them, it’s basically too late to be the real me again.
My bad….meant to respond to oneshot..
It was both image and power that I was seeking.. strength alone would still make me feel emasculated.
Why do you seek an image of power?
Instinct. It was just a desire. Just like it feels natural to reproduce for some people, this felt natural to me. It was the only things that helped me see any meaning in this life.
Hey, I can really relate to this post. I was really small going into high school, only 5ft1 120lbs. I was bullied in middle school and high school, and made fun of for being small. I finally got into a fist fight, and I lost. I felt insecure with deep anger for years, and I started training. My goal was to never be in a position where somebody bigger can control me again. I trained for years doing climbing, weighted pull-ups, punching, running, etc. I had a growth spurt and I am 5ft8 now, which is most likely the tallest I will be. I am not a large person, but I have gotten really strong. I had somebody a while back who was around 6ft3 220lbs trying to condescend me by challenging me to an arm wrestling match. I completely destroyed him, it wasn’t even close. My point is yes being short sucks and makes me feel insecure at times, but there are advantages to it. I have a lower center of gravity so I am more stable, and faster than taller people. People underestimate me because of my size. I am better at climbing, parkour, and gymnastics because of it. The biggest advantage though is because I have that chip on my shoulder, I train harder than most people, and so I am stronger than most people. Don’t let your height define you, use it to your advantage. My best friend is 5ft6 and he is as strong as the freaking hulk. Bruce lee was 5ft7, best martial artist of all time.
3 inches is a lot. If you feel short, imagine me? 3 inches in the U.S. is like 80-120k in worth (I refer to the expensive height surgeries here. I’m either going to beijing or russia because 80-120k is stupid expensive. In beijing, it costs around 50k for 4 inches. In russia, supposedly it’s cheaper but I hear bad things about the results so beijing is my number one priority).
I would have been perfectly fine if my final height was 5’9. Anything less than that would have screwed with my head. Damn..
What I truly wanted was a body that was my TRUE equal.
A body that JUSTLY reflected my will power.
I wanted the most dominant form that no one else could have compared themselves to. I wanted to be nothing but a machine. I wanted to be tall but 5’9 would have been enough because you wouldn’t look like a joke at that height.
My biggest mistake was stopping.. that’s when things started to get bad. I got so fucked in the head.