I spend a great deal of my time worrying about the future, but every so often I reflect on the past.
Maybe you’ve done the same; where you look back and wonder how you may have changed things to live a different life.
I regret not being more outgoing. Not allowing my shyness to rule me to the point where it manifested into social anxiety.
I regret trying too hard to please people, and as a result only finding my own identity in other peoples perception of me.
I regret putting too much emphasis on my studies. As though I would only be of any worth if I managed to get a certain grade.
I regret not telling anyone when I started feeling more anxious and depress, because I was so scared they would belittle what I was going through, and that they’d see me as a lesser person for telling them.
Yet I sometimes also regret telling people. So few truly understand, which is okay, but so few are aware of their lack of understanding, which is not okay.
I regret having lived a life for others. So many times I worried what the people I respected would think of me, now I just wish that once in a while they would think of me.
I regret so much.
2 comments
Awwww ur telling my life story I can definetly relate
Likewise I can also relate to a few of the things you mentioned like shyness. I missed out on some amazing opportunities because I deeply feared rejection and I had no help from friends/family to overcome these issues. I did see a therapist for a short while but she offered nothing useful, she just listened and talked about breathing and that was it.
Finally I overcame my own issues by visualizing the confident/outgoing person I felt I should be. Actually I went back to being outgoing since I was that way when I was younger….but when I got older I got shy because I felt less than others, being poor and not being very attractive (imo) and other issues. I was really my own worst enemy and still am sometimes.
I have to struggle to fight that more self-defeating side within me. However I’ve improved a great deal, now with me, what you see is what you get…I treat others how they treat me. Now I’m more tactical as well, I pick and choose my fights and let small things slide.
The strength you seek is within you. No one else will make you feel better about yourself or give you more confidence, only you can do that. And once you do change you’ll wonder why you were afraid of people or rejection or for standing up for yourself. Never too late to change.