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Things are back to getting worse. I don’t know if I can proceed anymore, go threw all the upcoming months, get a year older, it’s just too much. I still have to finish high school and I don’t know how to feel about that. I want to escape. Get as far away as I can from this country but in order to do so I’ll have to get a scholarship and because of my background I don’t think I’ll be able to get one. Even if I do get one, I won’t be accepted for who I am, or at least I don’t think I would. I don’t know how to describe myself, all I can say is that I have my moments. At times I am confident enough to get up in front of a crowd and give a speech but at other times I can’t say hello to a certain person. I want to be able to breathe but coming back to my country suffocates me.


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freeroma 8/26/2017 - 12:44 pm

I wasn’t looking forward to my last birthday, and I’m not looking forward to another one, either. But despite feelings I gained another year, and i got some experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise.

You actually might be able to get a scholarship. Yes, there’s a chance you won’t, but you won’t know until applying, and they often look at more than background. And again, you could be accepted for yourself. It just takes finding the right people, which can be difficult yet is still a possibility.

We all have our moments for both. I’ve felt that flip flop too, just try to work with what you have while the moment lasts and ride out the other til it passes.

a1957 8/26/2017 - 1:09 pm

My birthday is just a few days away. Ugh. I wish for just once I could receive a card expressing ” our deepest condolences”.

freeroma 8/26/2017 - 1:43 pm

lol wait til Hallmark decides to seize the market on that.

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