Hi , I figured Now would be a good time to share my Story here. Seeing as I’m probably not going to make it too much longer without snapping. I hope that when that happens I’ll just go crazy. I feel like I’m already half way there. I Have a lot of problems. Too many to explain but I’ll tell you that I have Severe Clinical Depression. Right now I am so mad , Upset , And depressed. My family doesn’t care. Oh , No wait , some of my family does care. Way too much. The make everything in my life out to be way more than it is and they just want to send me to the hospital for everything. On the other hand , My uncle , Who is supposed to be nice because he used to be , Just calls me names. Tells me that I’m doing basically everything in my life wrong , and criticized me. And tells me that I’m just having a pity party. Every time I try to pour my heart out to him. He doesn’t care. Neither do I. Forget about it. I’m so done. I have so many problems that no amount of trying harder will ever fix them. What my uncle doesn’t understand is that I do things the way I do them because that’s the only way I know. I had to teach myself things from the very beginning. My family doesn’t even care. So , Screw it. I’m just dosing myself up with caffeine so that I can try to at least get some energy. It will at least put happiness chemicals in my body. If I do that , It seems to make me feel better. I just really don’t care anymore. All I ever do is try to help people anymore. I’ve tried to do that my whole life but recently I have been doing it a lot more because it’s the only thing that makes me feel better. I pretty much live just to help other people now. If I didn’t gave that , I would probably be dead. The only reason I’m still alive now is because I’m scared of God. I hope God takes it easy on me in my afterlife , and that Heaven is at least in my future at all.
I hope you like my story , God bless you.
10 comments
1. Stop talking to your uncle about this shit. He is toxic to you.
2. Your family I think are tougher nuts to crack. Have you guys had any family therapy? Has anyone told them (politely) that they’re not helping the situation by being overdramatic?
I take it you’re still living with the family?
Yes , I am living with my family. I already stopped talking to my uncle. No , We never did any family therapy , but people(and me)have told my family , both bluntly and politely , That they aren’t helping. They still think they know better. I know better.
* Sigh * Hang in there. Save your pennies. When you can support yourself (and are old enough to so so) you can start your own life.
i believe in god too, so please go to church and find holy spirit its the only true happiness in the world just read the bible a few times. my life sucks too im on a million pills just to make me half ass sane. but please dont give up on god!
I don’t have a family so you are lucky there
Energyspirit, how are you doing?
I’m going to be honest. It’s a little rough , right now. I’m sorry , I know it’s not what you want to hear. I took your advice and tried the the things you suggested. It helped a bit. But I am so depressed. This is literally the worst I’ve ever been in my life. Please don’t be too disappointed in me. I really am trying to move on guys. Thank you.
I’m just concerned. I am not disappointed nor do I have a right to be. So what if it’s not “what I want to hear?” Honestly, who the hell am I? All I’m trying to do is trying to help out a little. 🙂
But fwiw, you should be proud of yourself for trying things that might help improve your mood.
Am I correct in thinking that your parents are a bit overprotective? If so, have they lost anyone (one of their parents when they were kids, or did you lose a sibling) that might have made them this way?
Hang in there.
Actually , I feel quite a bit better now. Hopefully it will last the rest of the day. Thank you for helping me. You have no idea how much of an impact you have made in my life. That and the samaritans. To be honest , I feel happy that I am trying things to make myself feel better , but to me it seems just more like desperation than any pride. I’m just desperate to feel better , that’s all. To be honest , I just don’t want to be in pain. If it wasn’t for the pain , I would feel a lot better. But depression is nearly constant , unrelenting pain , for me. That’s why I try to do things in desperation to make it through another night.
I really appreciate your advice. To be honest , I have autism and I am almost perfectly normal. I can do almost everything else can do , and some extras , but my family thinks that just because I have a mental illness , that I am completely handicapped. My parents are super overprotective and worry about everything I do. Even though I am 19 years old and I bust my ass working and doing some of even the most complicated carpentry , they still think I’m just a little kid.
I know they didn’t lose anyone(that I know of)to suicide. I just don’t know anymore. Things are just really tough. Thank you for being a caring friend. ?
No problem. I am so happy for you! Keep on fighting.
Depression sucks. I understand it. I have gotten nothing done all weekend…which just pisses me off even more. It’s just a nasty cycle.
You sound like a really bright, well-spoken person to me. You’re gonna accomplish a lot. I understand maybe why your parents are overprotective…but it isn’t doing you any good. They need to know that. Lovingly, because I truly think they’re trying to look out for you.
Keep fighting. 🙂