I’ve been fighting for so long and its time I surrender. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t born a boy. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment and I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry i couldn’t open up about it. I’m sorry I was too weak to ask for help, I thought I would get over it like all my problems, just like you said. I didn’t want to cause more drama since you said I should “get over it and stop being a drama queen”. I’m sorry I wasn’t friends with who you wanted me to be friends with. I’m sorry for all the money you’ve spent on me and would probably never get back. I’m sorry I was such a mess. I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry for doing this to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a perfect sister. I’m sorry I couldn’t be a good friend or an excellent student. I’m sorry I was never perfect. I’m sorry someone was always better than me. I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry i’ve come to this decision. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and understand that I was in pain and it was the only way to end it. I’m sorry I’m the reason you couldn’t have the life you wanted. I’m sorry I’m the reason of your pain and sorrow. I’m sorry i’m a mistake. I’m sorry it’s because of me someone is going to get this disease. I’m sorry I know all your secrets. I’m sorry i couldn’t be what you wished for. I’m sorry I wasn’t pretty. I’m sorry I self harmed. I’m sorry I decided to take my own life. I am sorry I am me. I’m sorry I let you all down.
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5 comments
Slow down. Take a deep breath. You’re taking a lot of responsibility for just being you? You’re being really hard on yourself. Nobody can meet everybody’s expectations.
It’s so natural to assume responsibility for everything. But the truth is people failed you. People made mistakes and hurt you. People aren’t perfect. No one is. But you are not the cause of it all. Try to give yourself grace because you deserve it more than anyone else.
Don’t be sorry for being you. Please talk to us.
Sorry would be if you didn’t give yourself a chance.
Everyone says stupid or hurtful things they wish they could take back. It’s easy to take peoples’ mistakes too much to heart, including our own. A lot of people feel like you do right now, but when you are old enough to live your own life on your own terms you can limit your interactions with negative but well meaning people.
It must be hard being so sensitive and the people around you not getting it. Maybe you should give yourself and them more time. Not smart enough? I had to look up what your name means!