I notice that anger usually is my path to self destruction. I remember learning somewhere that the default emotion for men is anger. The default supposedly for women is sadness. Anyway, I have male anatomy and anger is my default.
I would be feeling fine if things were working well, isn’t it always the way? The issue comes back to unrealistic expectations, and for once they aren’t mine (or are they?).
I’m back in school, doing a full time load (actually a bit more). If all I was doing was school I could fucking succeed. It isn’t all I’m doing though.
First let’s talk about my health. I have sleep issues, back issues, and digestive issues. When I take good care of myself, I don’t have these issues. When suffering heavy stress these symptoms become unbearable.
Now about my demands outside of school. Worst is that I have to eat. I’m 6’3 and currently just bellow 200 pounds. I’m dropping weight like crazy because I can’t afford to eat. My fiance has decided to stop buying me food. She’s also decided to stop cooking. So now, in addition to going to school (which doesn’t pay), I have to scrounge food, cook it, and eat. I hate this. I wouldn’t have fucking enrolled in school if I had known that I would be required to hunt for food, cook it, and force it into myself. All of these are hard for me.
Then there’s the housework. In addition to cooking, I have to clean, do laundry, and care for four animals. My fiance contributes little to any of these. So I’m cleaning up and cooking for two people. The laundry isn’t so bad right now.
Now for where it gets fucking ridiculous. My fiance works full time, but lately only when I have time off or am in school. When I need time for work at the house, she’s home. When I’m at school, she’s home. She makes 9 bucks an hour which apparently is not enough for her to eat or contribute to the mortgage or utilities. She’s also supposed to make tips, she does not. She doesn’t even fucking like the job, all I hear her do is complain about it. Yet I have to subsidize this lifestyle.
Then there’s the fucking mattress. I bought it in 2006, and it has not been well cared for. It has a pillow top which makes it really hard to fit a sheet to. Up until last night we slept with multiple mattress toppers on it. I’m TRYING to clean (emphasis on trying, it’s hard to do all the cleaning for two people in 11 hours a week that she is at work on my days off), and I need to clean them. Last night, between the food stress (I’m in debt trying to feed myself) and the work stress (3 days I wanted to work on homework, didn’t get to), I didn’t get to sleep until almost 4 AM. I went to bed around 3. She tossed and turned all night, and so did I.
My back is in terrible pain, all my joints hurt to a greater or lesser extent, I’m pissed. I had terrible nightmares all night, like think the most tense horror movies you’ve ever seen. I didn’t even wake all the way up after each, I went back to sleep because I am SO TIRED at this point that I would rather face horror nightmares and sleep than be awake. I slept until 9:45. That makes 5:45 minutes of bad sleep. 345 minutes of bad sleep. Less time than in two extended Peter Jackson films.
Now for the meaningless complaints, because nothing can be done. We have a truly terrible president that the majority of us didn’t vote for. I know that those that did vote for him don’t care about those that didn’t. We have a congress that can do as it pleases with no interest in the will or needs of the people. I live in a red state, which means even if we did get a pro “War on Poverty” administration in, we would barely notice. Nothing changed here under Obama apart from white people complaining. We rejected the medicare expansion. There is one insurer in the state in the marketplaces, and they get to set their prices as they like. Our rich people are doing well, I work for a number of very wealthy people who are just getting more fucking wealthy. That’s where the stimulus went. Frugal people like my family got little help because we didn’t owe enough money. If we had just had the sense to borrow more outrageous amounts of money than we could ever reasonably repay we would be trillionaires. You think I’m kidding, or overstating it. I… am… not.
This whole fucking economy is built on fraud anyway. Here in America we call it debt, which accounts for over 3/4 of all the wealth in this country. A company can be completely incompetent, cruel to it’s customers, cruel to it’s employees, and non competitive. Yet they have a virtual monopoly on the good or service that they provide, and the government allows monopolies to exist. Heck, the government SPONSORS them. Do you think that the Telecom and airline industries got this way by accident? They have deep pockets that they buy congressmen, judges and presidents with.
One day I will be on top. One day these criminals will be shown justice. One day….. man I wish today was that day.
Hopeless Viking-I can’t buy anything that fires projectiles because all my storage solutions are dangerous.
1 comment
The fact is this: In the USA the debt is 366% of the GDP. In no uncertain terms that means there is nothing but debt. For example, if a peasant makes $10/day but owes $100/day such that each day he leaves work he hands every penny over to the landlord and leaves empty handed; that is the USA today. On a Global Scale, the Total Global Debt is 325% of the Global GDP. In no uncertain terms that means there is nothing but debt. For example, if a peasant makes $10/day but owes $100/day such that each day he leaves work he hands every penny over to the landlord and leaves empty handed; that is the entire world today.
Contrary to popular belief, most money in our economy is not created by the government or the Bank of England. It is created by the commercial, high-street banks every time they issue a loan, mortgage, credit card or overdraft. This is made possible by the fact that most money these days is not cash or coin, but simply electronic numbers in computer systems. Whenever a loan is made, these numbers are not actually transferred, but simply duplicated.
The process that allows commercial banks to create 97% of our money supply through debt is what is known as fractional reserve banking. Fractional reserve banking involves the issuance and creation of money through a commercial bank, giving banks the ability to increase our money supply through loans. Through fractional-reserve banking banks keep only a fraction of money deposited in a bank in reserve and lends out the remainder. This practice is universal in modern banking.
The effect that fractional reserve banking has on the money supply has far-reaching ramifications for monetary inflation, price inflation, interest rates, and the business cycle. Only 3% of the money supply exists in any tangible form.
As a result, we have arrived at the point where less than 5% of money in existence is actually issued by the government and the authorities. The remainder, many hundreds of billions of pounds, has been created through individuals and companies taking out loan after loan, mortgage after mortgage, and borrowing money that has already been borrowed many times before. This problem is at the heart of the financial crisis. All the currently proposed reforms – including better regulation, state ownership of banks, bonus/malus schemes for the City boys, or a complete end to capitalism – are simply treating the symptoms of a problem that is barely being discussed, but in history has been one of the most topical issues.
97% of all of the money on Earth, that 217 Trillion in debt, does not actually exist. It was fabricated out of the Fractional Reserve Banking System by Federal and private banks the world over. The entire global financial system is exactly as this cosmos, a façade. This façade kills, starves, controls, empowers, lies, wars, and in the ultimate display of Chaos, will bring the imminent 7th Global mass extinction, Snowball Earth, which is unfolding right now.