I really really want to kill myself, I already know it’s not gonna end well for me no matter what I do. But I feel so guilty doing that to my family, so I’m trying really hard to stick it out. But man that takes endurance that I’m not sure I have.
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You shouldn’t if you have people you love !
If you don’t then go for it!!
I wish it was simple.
At this very moment, if I did not feel a sense of overwhelming obligation. I’d have no problem at all with offing myself. Probably by shooting myself, or maybe driving full speed into something. Probably with a gun. Maybe off a tall building, but we don’t have a tall building here. I just really want to die and it’s not fair that I was born.
Honestly if someone could just walk up and shoot me that would be ideal, but that’s just a silly daydream. I’m not counting on getting out easy.
Yeah I wasn’t supposed to be born in not saying I didn’t ask for it I’m just saying I shouldn’t have been and I wasn’t supposed to be.
It’s a fucking miracle I was born and I shouldn’t have been
Like I fucking hate it here
All day long I look at the people on the tv think what the fuck this is what humans are?
@Cause of Death: Suicide, I literally should not have been born either. But I’m just trapped for now. I also think I’m barely human.
I feel guilty for my family too. It hurts me knowing that I’ll be leaving them in pain, but sometimes, when things get so bad, you need to put yourself first. I don’t believe I can go on suffering like this so why should I live purely to please others?
I was talking to my mom the other about something totally unrelated to me, but I was trying to tell her to not blame herself, and I told her I know they did their best and they were good parents.
It’s just really hard. Some days I think I can hang in there for them, but most days I don’t.