I am in a very strange place right now, i’m in a sort of existentialist crisis. Let me explain.. All my life as far back as I can remember I was fascinated with consciousness. We all experience it and if you think about it there is nothing outside of consciousness. In college I studied psychology hoping to find answers about wat consciousness was, but I was severely disappointed. They taught us that the brain produces consciousness by firing neurons in specific patterns. I don’t believe in such a materialistic worldview. It is just way too easy and simplistic to just say that it is produced by firing neurons and be happy with that explanation. I always had a strong feeling that it is much more than that, I always had a feeling that our body is some kind of a prison for us and that our consciousness is locked up in some way.
I always had a fascination for conspiracy theories too. Many of them are true I found out and it became some kind of addiction knowing all this ‘secret’ stuff. It made me depressed too to live in such a strange world where these things could happen and I felt alone in my worldview. After years of researching I became quite the expert but I tried to quit because it did not made me happy knowing all those things. Until i came across a video claiming that the earth was flat. I still remember the video, it was called ‘the most important truth’ by Eric Dubay. For anyone who is truly interested, go and critically research it with a truly open mind and you will find out it is the truth. I am not here to debate this fact with any of you, i’m just saying that this is the worldview i’m currently stuck with because I thoroughly believe it is the truth.
All my life i have been researching religion too because, just like everybody else, I wanted an answer to the great life questions. What am I? What am I supposed to do here? What is this for a strange world? Is there a god? 2 years ago I ended up researching gnosticism. It is a sort of worldview/religion that goes further back than Christianity. Christianity in fact has a long history of killing of gnostics and spindoctoring gnostic literature and information, so I don’t know if you can take it all for truth. The main point of gnosticism is that the god of this realm, the demiurge, is evil. It is not the highest god that it claims to be, but a god of war and feeds itself on the energy of the people in this world. I already knew from my research on conspiracy theories that there is so much satanism present in the media, politics, Hollywood etc. so this idea really stuck with me.
So now i’m here thinking that this world is in fact flat with a dome over it, keeping us in. I think that this world is created by the demiurge and that we are his prisoners. I think the goal of this place is that we suffer and that everything in this world is designed so that we have a hard time. I believe that the white light that you see when you die is a trap and that when you go into that light you will get a mindwipe and you will eventually reincarnate back into this place to live all over again.
I am trying to find a way out of this realm. I know that everyone of us consists out of 3 things: a body, a soul and a spirit. Both the body and soul are created by the demiurge and our spirit (that what is truly us) is trapped in both of them. The plan is now to just live my life and one day commit suicide. I am planning to not go into that light and go the other way. I will try to escape, but i’m not exactly sure how to do that. Is there somebody on this site with the same ideas? What is your plan on escaping this realm?
7 comments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDW34O-b6Sw
Now, I just briefly skimmed through your words.. And I have to tell you to always keep your mind malleable.. I’m 16 but I have also been searching for truth in the past couple years..
I have come to great understandings, but the path is dark at first.. Then you see the beauty of the universe…
You should check out Mitchell Heismans Suicide Note… Check out some lectures by Alan Watts and Terrence Mckenna on YouTube.. Check out Quantum Physics.. Delve deep into Eastern and Western Philosophy.. Refresh your knowledge on history so far…
Also, stop taking life so seriously xD
It’s a clue.
We are a part of this universe, experiencing itself, evolving.. Flow with space and time..
What if the prison we’re trapped in is the prison we’ve created in our own imagination? You believe the earth is flat with a dome over it, and that Satan controls the media, politics and Hollywood.
What if none of that is true?
What if the vast majority of conspiracy theories are just wacked out beliefs, formulated by people with an fertile imagination who employ skewed methodology to arrive at incorrect conclusions?
Feel free to believe whatever you’d like, I realize that conspiracy theorists despise having their notions challenged. It’s like trying to have a conversation with fundamental theists or ideologically? driven fanatics; any appeal to reason will fall on deaf ears.
I suppose in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. We’re born, we live, we die. If there’s more to life than meets the eye, either we will or won’t find out after we die. You might as well try to enjoy the ride for however long it lasts.
Hello,
I too studied Psychology, and yes, being a rather technical branch it definitely will give you nothing but technicalities and probable out-dated theories or information.
If you want to understand life, and the world as it is or could be, I do suggest you study into the basics of theology, biology, eastern and western ancient alchemy, and modern chemistry and bio-chemistry, with a tinge of different philosophical works from the minds of the famous names such as Plato, Socrates, Rene Descartes, etc.
It’s not going to be easy to comprehend and it will definitely take time due to the sheer amount of information and the complexity of its format it is shared in, I won’t even guarantee you’ll be alive to complete eveyrthing, and I won’t guarantee that what you end up understanding in the end out of everything will be correct. However scientific facts and/or theories our understandings of atoms, rays, lights waves, 3/4 dimensional space and the earths dimensions of it being round or flat shouldn’t be ignored.
To be fair, if you want to really see for yourself about the world being flat with a dome, study, become a qualified astronaut and go see for yourself, we live in a 3 dimensional world anyway, so your eyes shouldn’t deceive you when you see a round blueberry of a planet as you descend into the space of the universe.
But in the end, you will find yourself pondering that if everything you did to get to that point was worth it, or would it have been more worth it to find value and happiness in the smaller things of life and to create my own essence of value in the people I love, in the hobbies I do and the everyday people I get to see around me?
In the end you will realize that if life is meaningless and all is mind and matter without purpose, you will either come to destroy yourself or to eventually start making your own purpose, although, by that time, it may be too late.
Just enjoy life.
But if the earth is flat and gnosticism is true, how could reptilians exist? I just can’t believe that David Icke is wrong. I mean, he’s written so much stuff.
The reptillians are just a name for the other seedline in this world. So they do exist, only they are not really reptillians. There are two bloodlines in this world; the one we belong to and the one that rules this world. They not only control the mainstream media, but also the alternative media. When people are fed up with mainstream media lies they will go on youtube for example and people like David Icke are the first people they come across. People like David Icke lure you in by telling you some truth but trick you by mixing in a lot of lies. So to be short; David Icke blames the reptillians, when in fact he works for them spreading some truth with a lof of disinformation.
This whole world is rotten and completely controlled. It has Always been this way. We are trapped here and our only concern should be how to break free. The god of this world is evil I think, he hides himself and creates chaos and wars by setting up people against eachother. Once you know this it is quite Obvious that it is the case..
GnosticThinker, I read your post and comments,
and while I’m NO expert in Theology (I converted to Christianity from Judaism)… I do believe that you might be right about many things you said-wrote.
One only needs to look into the ‘human’ History, and see how cruel and ugly we humans have been, throughout History, to each other… and how and still, we are so cruel towards animals, and any creature which is smaller, weaker than us (and can’t speak back to us, or protest our cruelty towards them).
I saw a post on Facebook which showed Chinese sadistic maniacs skinning a poor raccoon-dog while it was still alive. The raccoon-dog was drenched in blood and crying in pain and terror, because of the horrible acts done to him/her…
Where was a good and caring God, in helping or rescuing that raccoon-dog from the clutches of those Chinese demons in ‘human’ form?!
Where was He??!
If indeed, it’s like you say… the ‘god’ of this world is evil… then, I can understand why animals and humans CRY OUT to him from the depths of their emotional and physical pains… and are not answered with anything except SILENCE.
I understand what you’ve written…
but really, for all our sakes,
I really-really hope that you are mistaken, GnosticThinker.