Not the same anymore.

September 15th, 2017by LastMonths

I was a good kid, “was” until I got to experience the so called loss of a father not a regular loss by cause of death it is one of the few things I’ll never forget.

Leaving without a trace, Me and my mom tried to find him. Using every resource we got. Money, people in the higher ups etc. My mom finally moved on with her life.
But nobody knew i was stuck in that spiral not knowing if i should continue or not.

It was right there and then. That shitstorms always came my way. I became aloof, got into fights and would rather skip class than go and study. I became lazy. Depression ate my slowly and i didn’t have a choice in the end but let it eat me. Slowly.

I was devastated by the following events shortly after I lost my father. My uncle beating me into a bloody mess when he’s drunk. Traumatized me and I said to myself i hate people and everyone around me. I learned how to fight back and i became disrespectful to adults it was being the normal to me, like all the bad things i do is normal now.

At this point in my life I am currently 19 years old and I am now deciding that ending things at 20 years old makes enough sense. I want to end the disappointments and all the pain i give to my family and my partner.

“It’s when you wish everything was over that your view in life changes drastically.”

The countdown will begin. Sleeping in 10/24/17.

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