all over again.

I’ve been off my meds for about 2 weeks now and I have been having serious anixety attacks and have been not been able to control my anger again. I have tried to stay off this site because reading everyone’s post makes me feel like a shitty person since I see some of you have it worse. Why am I here… I’m such a waste of life honestly.  Feeling nothing was better than feeling like I want to punch a wall every minute of my life. I have tried getting a hold of my psychiatrist and my therapist, but neither have time, which shouldn’t they have time??? They’re probably just tired of hearing me out all the time. It’s just really hard controlling myself. Also, I know this sounds weird, but I really have been wanting someone to beat the shit out of me. I’m really stupid.