Tomorrow I go back to work. Last time I was at work was Thursday. 4 days away from work. 4 days away from 300 people. It’s been bliss. I’ve very much enjoyed it. Tomorrow, I’ll feel like shit again when I’m around these people. Having to interact with them. Having to be fake and wearing a mask. I’ve enjoyed not smiling for the past few days. If I don’t smile at work, people’s ask me why I look miserable/unhappy/down or why I looked stressed. So I smile, it takes a lot of effort to fake smile and be fake happy. I feel drained when I get home. So I just veg out all evening. Instead of going to the gym which makes me feel better. I’m dreading tomorrow. I wish today would never end.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
6 comments
Now that you mention it..my own mother used to ask me to smile a lot…or people would say smile for the camera…I hated it too. It felt so utterly fake. I knew it was fake. Yes bothered me a lot. Sorry to hear people do this to you but thanks for letting me know I am not the only one that hears this awkward request.
I don’t fake emotions. At Least o can feel them unlike those other fake assed fuckfaces
Same mate.
True story: After having my wisdom teeth removed, I was at work and dealing with a customer, some smarmy older lady. Part way through the transaction, she tells me to smile. I give her a brief nod, continue ringing. She tells me to smile again. I give her the best one I can manage (which, at the time, was more of a grimace) and continue on. Finally at the end of the transaction, she just stops and goes to me “you should smile!” and it’s obvious she’s not leaving.
I look her dead in the eye and say “I had my wisdom teeth removed. It HURTS to smile.” That shut her up real good and sent her on her way.
I’ve been meaning to whip that one out again the next time a customer gives me shit. Maybe it’ll do you good.
I hope your back-to-work day is tolerable. I know that feeling of returning that you’re describing, and having to play a role, and it sucks. Hope it goes ok for you.
It was tolerable up until an hour ago. Have spent that last hour on SP. I still have another 1.5 hours to go 🙁