I know some people may have good phases and bad ones, but do the truly suicidal people ever become fully happy and fully healed? Even if life becomes “good” later on, is there always a part of that person that is broken/doesn’t feel right? I’ve never met anyone that’s completely over it and healed fully. I don’t think anyone ever becomes 100% “healed.”
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I would have to say no. I mean with me I’ve had many of good times in life and success, but I’ve always felt depressed and very much alone.
mm, i’m envious of your good times and success :p
They came with a price sadly. The more I had. The more I felt even more depressed because I felt I either didn’t deserve it, or because I knew I would fail.
I’d take some good times and success over constant bad times tho
Guess not
Moderating depression has been the case for me. Getting over it is not anything I know of. I keep that demon barely at arms length for most of the time.
Keeping the D monster at bay is basically what I hear from everyone. It never goes away, just hides out somewhere.
Have been keeping it at bay ( most of the time) for several years now. Most of the time it is just barely under control and then it nails me if I slack on the moderation stuff for more than a week say. For decades I drowned it out with fun, expensive, or risky behaviors. Now I have to keep it at bay with low cost low impact behaviors. They are easy pleasant low cost low impact but it seems unfair that any of us would have to take lots of extra steps and time to manage something that really should not be bothering us in first place but it does. They work when I work ’em but no the monster never truly goes away.
What were your fun, expensive and risky behaviours? Just curious.
What are the low cost low impact behaviours that keeps it at bay for you?
Often times fun and expensive and risky went together. By far the chief behavior that hit all three was flying light aircraft under less than ideal conditions shall we say. Fun and risky, and in retrospect downright wrong, was driving at or beyond 100 mph on public US roads. Elaborate vacations gave expensive fun.
So for keeping depression at bay without breaking the bank or anything else: almost no processed foods, use a sun lamp from September thru February for about an hour a day, take 3 St. John Worts a day, exercise lightly 10 to 15 minutes a day, greet at least one stranger warmly a day (almost every day), take a probiotic each day, take a bio-available folate supplement daily. I have eventually gotten used to all this and actually like it. Nothing cool or glam with any of this but it has proven to work most of the time.
Oh, do sun lamps actually work? What brand/model do you have? Does it mimic the sun? As in it’ll tell your body to produce Vit D3? Does it give you a better daily cycle / routine as it tells you when you should be up and awake, and when to go to sleep? I’ve thought about the lamps before. Maybe I ought to get one- if it actually mimics the sun (fools the body into thinking it IS the sun).
The published benefits associated with these bright light therapy lamps are SAD relief (this is me!), sleep disorders, circadian rhythm issues and the like. Starting in September, without it the depression is virtually intolerable. With it depression is more of a nuisance. Mine is a Carex Day -Light and it has the 10,000 LUX output considered to be necessary for therapeutic effect.
amazon. com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Carex+Day+Light&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3ACarex+Day+Light
Is this what you have?
amazon. com/Carex-Health-Brands-Day-Light-DL2000/dp/B002WTCHLC
Yep. That is exactly the one.
-You just shine it at your face or whole body?
-Does it feel warm like a heat lamp?
-Does it keep you regular? Like helps you sleep and wake up at a regular time?
I’ve never had SADD (felt the same in winter as I do in the summer) but since I injured my foot and haven’t been able to walk the last 2 years, I’m deprived of sunlight and thus Vit D. I take D3 supplements which help but it’s not enough.
It is for your eyes to receive. There is no perceptible heating from it. There has been plenty in the literature to suggest it may help with sleep. I see numerous indications that it helps regulate our circadian clock and that is actually the bodies time piece so I would sure hope it would help keep you regular. Thank God for google.
So do you use this only during daytime? I guess we can’t double up and use it as a light in the room in the evenings? Would shining the light in your face in the evening mess you up?
There are two schools of thought on when to use it. Early morning around sunrise or late evening around sunset. I do the latter and it works just fine for for my SADD. I can imagine some experimenting to find what works best for your sleep issues.
Recommended distance to the eyes is about 12 inches or so.
It does have a lower power switch setting that is just intended for task illumination but that has no therapeutic value. The high power setting has the therapeutic value provided ones eyes are about 12 inches from it. I actually have mine at 18 inches away. The low power setting has no time limit associated with it whereas the high power setting is limited to one hour at a time to preserve the lamps in it from heat degradation.
Do otherwise-happy people ever get over their annoying cheerfulness? I’d wager they do, more often than you’d think. There is no fully healed for anyone. Nobody is perfectly happy, and nobody is perfectly depressed. Either side of the spectrum is a learned state, like a river flowing through a canyon. The deeper the canyon, the harder it is for the river to change course, but it can still happen.
According to a youtube video entitled “Despondex” excessive cheerfulness can be resolved just with a prescription these days. Yeah check it out!
I tried despondex, but it had a paradoxical effect and made me giddy like a schoolgirl. It was a horrific sight.
@rivets Sue their ass! They never even mentioned that as a possible side effect.
honestly, i don’t know, and i would love to know if there are people who truly got over.
because to me, it feels unachievable; even in the brightest moments there’s still the void in the back of my head reminding me that all the pretty things are temporary and i don’t belong in the group i’m laughing with, that i truly mean nothing and that in the evening i will wish to be dead again.
maybe if i learned that all i can get is being with the void and when i’m lucky it will sometimes be weak enough to ignore it for a moment, i would not be suicidal anymore?
i really wish i knew if there’s a way to get completely over depression; because for now i feel like the answer is no.
if you fall off a cliff break your bones and smash your head against the inside of your skull will you be the same after you recover? A scar is a scar. It doesn’t go away. once something is shattered, even if it is rebuilt it will never be the same or as strong.
i would say if you’ve ever been truly — years unable to function or advance in life, suicidal ideation, self-harm etc. — if you’ve ever been REALLY depressed, no it will always be a healed bone, if the limb can be saved at all.
“if you fall off a cliff break your bones and smash your head against the inside of your skull will you be the same after you recover? A scar is a scar. It doesn’t go away. once something is shattered, even if it is rebuilt it will never be the same or as strong.”
Yes. Agree. This damage was done wayyyyyy back, and it’s here to stay.
I now know that I’ll never beat this. It is as much a part of me as my physical body. I’ve had good times, bad times, ups and downs, periods (years, in some cases) of being “better”, but never ever cured, or over it. It’s soothing, in a way. I see what depression is to me, how it affects me and limits me, and I can sort of plan around that without feeling too guilty about it. There’s only so much I can do as me, and it’s because of depression. I’m too old to believe all the crap in the multitude of self help books I’ve read. There’s no fix for this, other than death. There is maintenance, and that’s becoming tiring. It’s like flying in a plane that I know is going to crash, I just don’t know when.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt 100% truly happy even when things were going well. The depression and suicidal thoughts were always there, like the corner network logo on TV. It’s always there but sometimes you don’t really notice it. When the suicidal thoughts happen during the “good” times, the rationale was always, that this was the best that I would feel and that things would only go downhill from there, so why not check out on top.
Maybe the self help books can/do/will help some people. I shouldn’t rag on them all. I guess it’s just that I don’t give a shit anymore.
Don’t ask me how, but I healed.
. . . healed, or in remission?
Honestly, this has actually been a large factor in my efforts to kill myself. Knowing that I’ll never genuinely feel the fulfillment other people do, always having to fight myself to just stay alive, I would rather die. It just doesn’t seem worth it. But I guess everything feels pointless when you’re prepped to kill yourself again, until it fails and reality comes crashing back with everything you tried to run from. I don’t want to fail again, but I know I probably will.