My mother once called me a lazy invalid who will never find another girlfriend. Because I woke up one morning and wanted cereal instead of cooking breakfast.
Lol, this one also. They throw generational karma back at you when you decide you’ve had enough and fight back. Amazing how abusers rationalize what they do when the ones they’ve abused voice out.
Not only verbal but also physical and psychological. Things they did:
-beat up by my father
-got punched in the head
-humiliated in public in front of relatives (again by my asshole father) by throwing a tennis ball in the head in front of cousins
-had my head slammed on cabinet doors
-had my guitar slammed on my shoulder
-kicked me on my hip pushing me down the stairs
-threw my motorcycle helmet on me
-tore off my clothes and had me out of the house, prompting me to seek refuge and spend the night on my girlfriend’s
-punched me on the mouth
-got clawed and scratched by my mother
Things they said or show:
-it’s my fault why I’m a failure
-that I’m useless
-that they preferred our maid more than me
-told me I was the cause of problems and wanted me out of the house
-I was the black sheep of the family and eventually brainwashed family members around that I’m a “bad” person (take note I never did drugs or drink alcohol. I did whatever they want but still I’m the bad one)
-take other people’s sides, instead of their own flesh and blood. Things are so currently bad that they side over my enemies instead of me
-gaslighting. They do one thing or I tell them about my problems then tell me it’s all in my mind.
-whenever I speak up about the things troubling me, my asshole of a father then makes it all about himself
Then they wonder why I hate them, don’t talk to them, withdraw from their presence and want nothing to do with them. I even began fighting back, telling my mother she only wishes to reconcile with me now that she’s dying and near the grave and I make her cry as much as possible. To top it off, that ************ of a father of mine even has the audacity and nerve to tell me to patch things up before things are too late. They are horrible through and through. I wish nothing more than for them to be dead. If I could kill them with my bare hands, I would’ve already. What’s only holding me back is my religion, belief in God, my girlfriend and my morals. Otherwise, I would’ve already done the deed a long time ago.
I’ve been fighting back verbally since they’ve done that to me and shown that they play favorites, hence I get beat up and violently handled by my father. He’s a narcissist. He just CANT stand someone arguin with him. You can only do so much though. What they do WILL wear you down over time no matter how much of a fighting spirit you’ve got.
@ Black Holez – So my mother had brutally abused my younger brother for years and then one day he punched her in the gut just as she was about to abuse him. Best thing he ever did. Now sure nothing could stop her rage at the moment but it seems the hurt he put on her far outlasted the high or whatever she got when she hurt him. She never hurt him again physically after that.
@a1957 She’s a woman though. Obviously she won’t be able to fight back once the physical confrontations start off. The same can’t be said of fathers. Imagine a 160-170lbs of muscle punching and slamming you on doors while you’re just a scrawny little kid. Yep, you COULD fight back but you’re not going to be alive for long. You still need support how much you hate their kids. And in a 3rd world CONFUCIANIST like mine, parents are always right. If you get beat up, you must deserve it or so that’s what the culture here says. Living in the streets is also a death sentence here. Frabkly, it’s a miracle I was able to put up with their abuse for this long.
LMAO! That one is what irks me the most. You think my experiences are INVALID and you have the audacity to just call it “all in our heads” and we’re just crazy? Motherf*cker I should just kill you right now and this problem would be done with.
Damn you! You mean to tell me I can’t be batman and pretend I’m a ninja who invents weapons with his own two hands?! I’ll get you and one of these imagined enemies one day! I swear!
Man, I’m so sorry you guys had to take that kind of abuse. Mine was much, much milder. But these truly loving people were able to instill in me a profound lack of self-confidence. I can’t remember all the little things, but I remember one: “Dummy”. It was said without malice. I always felt loved. I was lucky. But the you-can’t-DO-that was instilled in me. I hate the word dummy. And stupid.
And now, I’ve been the perfect parent, right? Yeah. My kid is pretty smart. But by middle school, attendance became an issue. I truly thought my kid was slacking. “Get off your ASS!!” LET’S GO! I can get loud. I got so pissed at this kid. To make a long story short I finally got the message – after he self-harmed. I will never forget the look on that kid’s face as long as I live. “Help me”. That was the look. I have yet to feel that helpless again.
Thank God he’s doing better. Just an amazing person. I am blessed to have him in my life
God, Rivets, he has given me so much happiness. He’s such an awesome kid. I just try to treat him with respect. I am fortunate – I think we have a good relationship.
death by dozens of little hurtful words eh?
How many of us are fucked up because our parents treated us like shit? We grow up all messed up and miserable af.
I mean I feel bad because they were such wonderful people. The shit I dealt with was really nothing…nothing…compared to what many other folks have to deal with.
To be clear, my parents provided me with material needs. But I woulf trade all that away to have my dignity snd self-respect back. Money can be found through hard work. Self-confidence, dignity and respect can’t. You can never have success without those.
Yeah but it’s worse to be treated like shit emotionally AND be deprived of material needs. Those who get treated well but are deprived of basic needs grow up with LOTS of problems too- many of them health related and irreversible so it’s not like growing up with lots of love but dirt poor is not so bad.
Not addressing specifically to you, but a lot of people think it’s not so bad to grow up poor as long as they’ve grown up with love and confidence and respect and all that jazz. People who grow up with their basic material needs met have no idea how bad life is when you don’t. And I’m talking long-term mental and physical effects, not just when you were poor as a child.
Well, in my case, I was denied both, so I’m all sorts of fucked up. Lovely…
Yep, I was 17 at that time. It was my only moment of rebelling. Compared to my peers I was a saint…until I switched and became nasty. I was either one extreme or another.
Anyway, she burst out crying and while sobbing she uttered how can good people have evil children. So I said sarcastically laughed and said “you’re good people!?!?? ”
I think that hurt her more because I actually had her doubting that she was not a good person and she was evil too.
Wow, I wish I could’ve been rebellious. I had that completely beaten out of me. Every day was fear. If I had struck back, or lashed back at her, I imagine she’d have finally left me alone.
My stepdad to me: you are a parasite. It is your fault everything goes wrong. We should send you away and then it all going to be a lot better. I was fucking 12 years old and commited a horrible sin: I didn’t clean a lunchbox well enough
any small infraction is used as an excuse to punish and hurt the child, because they can and because they deep down don’t like the child. It could be because you forgot to wipe the counter. Or sweep the floor. Or put your stuff away. Or whatever. Any small thing is grounds for them telling you you’re a piece of trash or saying something to purposely hurt you.
My father asked me if I am really his son, this was when he was not drunk nor under the weather. I was not taken back since I have asked myself the same question several times, since he is a smart person, well capable of managing any situation and shines in his field. But I have been a failure since my birth, I was born with Klinefelter’s syndrome, I have never excelled in any thing nor am I capable of communicating normally or handling any situation and list of my incapabilities goes on forever.
I would have liked to answer him that I am not your son but biological (blood grouping, phenotype) evidence has convinced me otherwise.
39 comments
My mother once called me a lazy invalid who will never find another girlfriend. Because I woke up one morning and wanted cereal instead of cooking breakfast.
I don’t remember. I let that shit GO. THEY DON’T EVEN REMEMBER!!! XD…
Oh no…
I don’t think I belong here anymore. 🙁
Mother: If you hate me your kids will hate you.
Lol, this one also. They throw generational karma back at you when you decide you’ve had enough and fight back. Amazing how abusers rationalize what they do when the ones they’ve abused voice out.
Oh exactly. That is what she was doing. She was trying to rationalize her detestable behavior.
Not only verbal but also physical and psychological. Things they did:
-beat up by my father
-got punched in the head
-humiliated in public in front of relatives (again by my asshole father) by throwing a tennis ball in the head in front of cousins
-had my head slammed on cabinet doors
-had my guitar slammed on my shoulder
-kicked me on my hip pushing me down the stairs
-threw my motorcycle helmet on me
-tore off my clothes and had me out of the house, prompting me to seek refuge and spend the night on my girlfriend’s
-punched me on the mouth
-got clawed and scratched by my mother
Things they said or show:
-it’s my fault why I’m a failure
-that I’m useless
-that they preferred our maid more than me
-told me I was the cause of problems and wanted me out of the house
-I was the black sheep of the family and eventually brainwashed family members around that I’m a “bad” person (take note I never did drugs or drink alcohol. I did whatever they want but still I’m the bad one)
-take other people’s sides, instead of their own flesh and blood. Things are so currently bad that they side over my enemies instead of me
-gaslighting. They do one thing or I tell them about my problems then tell me it’s all in my mind.
-whenever I speak up about the things troubling me, my asshole of a father then makes it all about himself
Then they wonder why I hate them, don’t talk to them, withdraw from their presence and want nothing to do with them. I even began fighting back, telling my mother she only wishes to reconcile with me now that she’s dying and near the grave and I make her cry as much as possible. To top it off, that ************ of a father of mine even has the audacity and nerve to tell me to patch things up before things are too late. They are horrible through and through. I wish nothing more than for them to be dead. If I could kill them with my bare hands, I would’ve already. What’s only holding me back is my religion, belief in God, my girlfriend and my morals. Otherwise, I would’ve already done the deed a long time ago.
A lot of the same mentioned above, the verbal ones anyway. Also:
“Don’t get mad at me because you’re upset with yourself.”
“No one wants to hear about your problems.”
Blaming me for their mistakes or other people’s mistakes.
Fighting back verbally and finding their weak spots has somewhat leveled the playing field as much as possible.
I’ve been fighting back verbally since they’ve done that to me and shown that they play favorites, hence I get beat up and violently handled by my father. He’s a narcissist. He just CANT stand someone arguin with him. You can only do so much though. What they do WILL wear you down over time no matter how much of a fighting spirit you’ve got.
@ Black Holez – So my mother had brutally abused my younger brother for years and then one day he punched her in the gut just as she was about to abuse him. Best thing he ever did. Now sure nothing could stop her rage at the moment but it seems the hurt he put on her far outlasted the high or whatever she got when she hurt him. She never hurt him again physically after that.
@a1957 She’s a woman though. Obviously she won’t be able to fight back once the physical confrontations start off. The same can’t be said of fathers. Imagine a 160-170lbs of muscle punching and slamming you on doors while you’re just a scrawny little kid. Yep, you COULD fight back but you’re not going to be alive for long. You still need support how much you hate their kids. And in a 3rd world CONFUCIANIST like mine, parents are always right. If you get beat up, you must deserve it or so that’s what the culture here says. Living in the streets is also a death sentence here. Frabkly, it’s a miracle I was able to put up with their abuse for this long.
*how much you hate your parents I meant.
“It’s all in your head. You’re just delusional. Those things you cry about at night aren’t REALLY happening”.
LMAO! That one is what irks me the most. You think my experiences are INVALID and you have the audacity to just call it “all in our heads” and we’re just crazy? Motherf*cker I should just kill you right now and this problem would be done with.
Don’t kill my mum, though. She’s very sweet in person yet she comes out with stupid things sometimes.
My twin on the other hand… yeah she’s an *** feel free.
“You know, you can’t be a penguin when you grow up, right?”
That’s offensive! How dare you tell me I can’t be an attack helicopter?!!!
Curse you, reality! I WILL defeat you one day!
Damn you! You mean to tell me I can’t be batman and pretend I’m a ninja who invents weapons with his own two hands?! I’ll get you and one of these imagined enemies one day! I swear!
Man, I’m so sorry you guys had to take that kind of abuse. Mine was much, much milder. But these truly loving people were able to instill in me a profound lack of self-confidence. I can’t remember all the little things, but I remember one: “Dummy”. It was said without malice. I always felt loved. I was lucky. But the you-can’t-DO-that was instilled in me. I hate the word dummy. And stupid.
And now, I’ve been the perfect parent, right? Yeah. My kid is pretty smart. But by middle school, attendance became an issue. I truly thought my kid was slacking. “Get off your ASS!!” LET’S GO! I can get loud. I got so pissed at this kid. To make a long story short I finally got the message – after he self-harmed. I will never forget the look on that kid’s face as long as I live. “Help me”. That was the look. I have yet to feel that helpless again.
Thank God he’s doing better. Just an amazing person. I am blessed to have him in my life
The worst thing parents can do to a kid is a childhood of little sleights. It sounds like you have your head on straight with your kid.
God, Rivets, he has given me so much happiness. He’s such an awesome kid. I just try to treat him with respect. I am fortunate – I think we have a good relationship.
death by dozens of little hurtful words eh?
How many of us are fucked up because our parents treated us like shit? We grow up all messed up and miserable af.
I mean I feel bad because they were such wonderful people. The shit I dealt with was really nothing…nothing…compared to what many other folks have to deal with.
To be clear, my parents provided me with material needs. But I woulf trade all that away to have my dignity snd self-respect back. Money can be found through hard work. Self-confidence, dignity and respect can’t. You can never have success without those.
Yeah but it’s worse to be treated like shit emotionally AND be deprived of material needs. Those who get treated well but are deprived of basic needs grow up with LOTS of problems too- many of them health related and irreversible so it’s not like growing up with lots of love but dirt poor is not so bad.
Not addressing specifically to you, but a lot of people think it’s not so bad to grow up poor as long as they’ve grown up with love and confidence and respect and all that jazz. People who grow up with their basic material needs met have no idea how bad life is when you don’t. And I’m talking long-term mental and physical effects, not just when you were poor as a child.
Well, in my case, I was denied both, so I’m all sorts of fucked up. Lovely…
“I have failed you” – Dad
“Lol..I don’t think anybody plans on having kids!” -Dad
It’s not what they say it is how they act like they know me and own me
Mum:”Should I’ve killed you at birth if I’d known you would grow up to be c*nt”
Me:”C*nts produce c*nts!”
Lol.
Did she really say that to you and did you really say that back to her?
Yep, I was 17 at that time. It was my only moment of rebelling. Compared to my peers I was a saint…until I switched and became nasty. I was either one extreme or another.
Anyway, she burst out crying and while sobbing she uttered how can good people have evil children. So I said sarcastically laughed and said “you’re good people!?!?? ”
I think that hurt her more because I actually had her doubting that she was not a good person and she was evil too.
My mum’s bipolar too.
Wow, I wish I could’ve been rebellious. I had that completely beaten out of me. Every day was fear. If I had struck back, or lashed back at her, I imagine she’d have finally left me alone.
What was her reaction?
My stepdad to me: you are a parasite. It is your fault everything goes wrong. We should send you away and then it all going to be a lot better. I was fucking 12 years old and commited a horrible sin: I didn’t clean a lunchbox well enough
any small infraction is used as an excuse to punish and hurt the child, because they can and because they deep down don’t like the child. It could be because you forgot to wipe the counter. Or sweep the floor. Or put your stuff away. Or whatever. Any small thing is grounds for them telling you you’re a piece of trash or saying something to purposely hurt you.
I wish I understood that better as a kid. If I’d known I’d get beaten and yelled at anyway, might as well not lift a finger.
My father asked me if I am really his son, this was when he was not drunk nor under the weather. I was not taken back since I have asked myself the same question several times, since he is a smart person, well capable of managing any situation and shines in his field. But I have been a failure since my birth, I was born with Klinefelter’s syndrome, I have never excelled in any thing nor am I capable of communicating normally or handling any situation and list of my incapabilities goes on forever.
I would have liked to answer him that I am not your son but biological (blood grouping, phenotype) evidence has convinced me otherwise.
You should get a DNA test. Just to make sure, on the off chance he isn’t. Could theoretically happen. Low likelihood, but still probable.
My father calls me a loser, bag of bones (because I’m thin), useless thing and so one