Long story short by the time I got to the GWB 7 cop cars pulled up and took me to the hospital. Didn’t even have a chance to be on the bridge to consider the leap. That was months ago, since then I’ve been continuing my meaningless life of frustration and stagnation. It’s 5am and I’ve been looking up hanging methods but too lazy and stupid to retain the info for applicable use. I came back because I do believe my death will not be natural, it will be Suicide, I can’t imagine just waiting years and years to die when all I do is stay home safe and have no risk of someone else killing me via car crash, robbery etc. eh whatever I’m at the same exact spot I was a year ago, now I’m 24 and if I am still alive by 30 I’m going the train route no questions asked. Also, what are your guys’s thoughts on partner pacts? Just curious, because this woman, not giving out a name, in her late 30s I believe, we met on a site, started texting me saying to fly over from Cali to NY to meet up with me to jump. I must really be a weirdo at texting because I must’ve scared her off she changed her mind and stopped texting me altogether. I guess even the hopeless get bad vibes from me….can’t belong anywhere…
Back here again
4 comments
I’d definitely have a partner, but flying so far to meet her is kind of sketchy. It’s like those dating sites where they post pictures of fake people and you show up and they are nothing like they seem. Hell, it could even be a private investigator. It’s probably a man pretending to be a woman and her guilty conscience kicked in.
What she did might not really be your fault. You or I put a ton of conditions on our demise and so will a partner. They can seem so anxious to go at first and can make it all seem like a slam dunk. But, when it comes right down to it, they too have conditions that have to be met or it’s a no go or they even just back out at any point along the way.
okay
just so you know
I wrote you something on that last post
& I spent the entire night of that Friday crying
I followed the news for a week to see if there were any reports of the incident
& I read there was some huge accident that day on the bridge
& I prayed & prayed & prayed that maybe
just maybe
this has played a part in you not going through with this
but that’s all I could do
guess, hope & pray
I know you’ll probably hate me for saying this
but I’m gonna say it anyway
reading this post now
I’m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
🙂 🙂 🙂
I don’t want to push like last time
& so I really really hope it would be okay with you if we talk
but just to say one thing
if not anywhere else
I think you belong here ShiSui…
I’m not particularly glad about the fact that “here” is a suicide site & all
but still
it’s “somewhere”
& all darkness aside
I think it’s a really good place to belong to
tc
<3