Can I call it a day?

My therapist says I’m fine. But am I? If I were then why do I want to harm myself so badly? Why do I want to end it? Is that normal? Is it normal to burn yourself intentionally?

Things I used to enjoy now become a chore for me. It’s like I have to force myself to do things I was once passionate about. But that’s normal?

Is it normal that I find solace when I feel pain? Pain is the only thing that seems to keep believing that I’m not some hallow person and I do feel.

Is it normal to prefer solitude and being alone over social interaction? For so long I had to lie about being this social person when really I prefer to just lay on my bed and watch the same shit over and over again. At least then I don’t feel alone.

I feel alone because I am alone. No one understands me or wants to.. So because of that I have to pretend all is well and talk to everyone about how fine I am.

I want to just die. Either peacefully or not. It doesn’t matter. My legacy shall be forgotten and I shall be hated regardless. It matters not.

But according to my therapist.. I am normal.