I hate myself so much. I hate absolutely everything about myself. I am fat, ugly, stupid, and lazy. I am incapable of doing anything right.
I used to dream of being successful. Now, I can’t even manage average.
I have ruined every career opportunity that has come my way. Opportunities I was damned lucky to get. I blew them all.
People keep telling me how much fucking potential I have and how I just have to figure out how to reach it.
I’m so tired of hearing it. I don’t think it is true but even if it is, clearly I haven’t figured out how to reach this elusive potential yet, so what are the chances I am going to now?
I am disgusted with myself and I don’t deserve to live.
5 comments
Oh my god, it is like reading about my own life. How old are you? I am 27 and I know I am too old to reach anything. I am also very, very depressed. I just can’t work, life is too painfull and I can not handle it.
I’m 34.
“I used to dream of being successful. Now, I can’t even manage average.”
Hahah, that’s me right now! I blew all my opportunities too despite all the “potential”. Well, perhaps that’s our potential, that’s what we’re good at: blowing things to smithereens! I guess we could start a business together, combine all our great potential and blow everything! 😀
Ha ha. Sounds like a plan!
I can relate. I’m 33 myself.
My advice would be: Use science, or rather: the scientific method, to solve your problems. I would argue it’s the most proven problem-solving method humans have devised.
brainpop.com/science/scientificinquiry/scientificmethod/
And as someone who has criticized myself for most of my life, my other advice would be: don’t do that.
psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-our-way/201401/punishment-doesnt-work
psychologytoday.com/blog/stress-self-and-health/201708/the-hazards-self-criticism