Before she was aware, she moved across seas. Of course she wasn’t aware, she was only 3.
By the age of 5, she knew something wasn’t right. Protecting her siblings while her parents fight.
From K to 12 she struggled without support. But even with uneducated parents, her grades were in good report.
Her home-life however, left much to Desire. Constant fighting and screaming and emotional fire.
At the tender age of 8, she would lie in bed, wishing she were dead.
Withdrawn and silent, she turned 14. Dragged to the psychiatrist for her mind to be seen.
Finally diagnosed with Severe Clinical Depression. She was given drugs, but to her family this did not leave a good impression.
They didn’t understand; why so sad? Isn’t she grateful? Her life is perfect, why all of a sudden so hateful?
No one was to know, and left her to silently struggle. By 17 she turned to drugs and alcohol to keep her mental bubble.
Her first attempt was left unnoticed. Being naive and inexperienced, she only woke up pissed.
Before her 20th, again she attempted. Landing her first stay in the psych ward, something she’s always expected.
Her early 20’s were in complete turmoil and disaster. She completed college but her let her inner darkness fester.
By 25 she attempted at least 8 times and was hospitalized thrice. Still nothing changed, popping happy pills like rice.
She moved far from home with a hardened resolve. She would kill her self this time, without anyone around, she could let her mind devolve.
A new environment, a new life, for once she felt well. But at 27, that quickly turned to hell.
Out of nowhere, her mind just broke. She didn’t even plan it, just swallowed pills until she choked.
She couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even move. Two days later she woke up, strapped down, in her throat a breathing tube.
Another stay in the psych ward, she was a veteran now. Just smile and stay sweet, and they won’t raise a brow.
After her release, she was never the same. She felt even more empty inside, like her soul had died that day.
She’s waiting, again, for her mind to break. So she can fully ease her soul’s ache.