There is always a tipping point where the bad outweighs the good-when something is more trouble than it’s worth and I think I’ve reached that limit with SP. This is not something I wanted-I would’ve liked to continue indefinitely if I was fine here. I considered SP something of a ‘home’ or a decent place to share ideas/vent, etc. But the past few months have really tested my patience with this site.
While most people here are nice, decent, generally helpful/supportive, there are legit angry, vindictive, poisonous trolls who ruin the site for everyone and the SP admins completely ignores them or they don’t care or take their side without being impartial.
But the trolls really aren’t my main problem-anyone who has seen my posts, know I can definitely hold my own. The problem is the admins/mods here who poorly manage this site. Either they go easy on the trolling or they’re overly harsh on posters who barely say anything offensive here.
Over the past few months especially I’ve seen some people post vile messages against others, in some cases if I recall correctly they even swore and nothing was done about these posts. Meanwhile I’ve had some of my posts which included no hate, offensive language end up in moderation-which was later posted, but I still had to wait….it makes no sense.
However what sealed the deal for me was a recent post I made expressing my own personal opinion on a topic. I even put a note at the start for anyone who is easily triggered to avoid my post-but they didn’t listen and jumped in anyway.
Mind you I didn’t tell them anything they didn’t already know or think of, or how they saw themselves. No, what offended them was to be reminded of what they thought of themselves and that was reason enough to delete my post which I put time and effort into writing, a post that could’ve helped someone else see things in a different perspective.
These two trolls flat out lied about what I actually stated and misrepresented my views in order to get my post deleted. Yes some people are so hateful of other people’s ideas that are different they seek to silence them, which group was doing that to people about 70 years ago? Nazis obviously…but again, the trolls don’t bother me, it’s the fact that the admins gave in to the Heckler’s Veto, they didn’t even bother to check if what they were saying about me was true or not.
I am a staunch free speech advocate-as George Orwell once said “If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.” But clearly we don’t have such protection of free speech/thought here. If you want to silence someone all you have to do is say it hurts your feelings/you found it offensive and poof, that alternate view is shut down.
Whatever happened to “your opinion is no more or less valid than mine?” Or if you don’t like it don’t read it? The mods could’ve been more mature about it and left my post and trust that other people are adult enough to make up their own minds-but they caved like a cheap suit.
So what’s the point of posting anything here at all if some bitter troll can easily game the system to his advantage and have your views shut down in a heartbeat? Why should I have to appeal a decision to the mods? Why can’t the mods have the basic intelligence to know when a post is legit harmful or when a person is merely expressing a different way of looking at life?
While I’m at it, we need a block button-practically all the social media sites allow you to block people that you don’t like…but here the trolls can repeatedly harass you/push your buttons and get away with it….on a freaking suicide website…what other place would need a way to block abusive people more than a site like this (where people are sensitive/easily triggered)? I would’ve simply blocked those two people and they’d never see my posts and we’d never have had our little skirmish.
I won’t say I’m completely leaving forever but effectively there’s no point to stick around anymore….SP has left a bad taste in my mouth and I’ll repeat it has little to do with the trolls (though it’s part of it) and mostly to do with the mods/admins running this site.
Now I am mostly ok with my life, but I really feel sorry for those who are in dire need-what happens to them if they get trolled and have their posts unfairly deleted?
You site owners really need to do some introspection and work on improving the experience here. I’ve been very supportive to many posters over the last few years and many have been the same to me….but you’re bowing to the trolls and that is ruining your site.
I wish everyone the best and hope you get well or find the peace you seek (aside from the trolls). I’m planning to delete SP from my favorites so I don’t think I’ll be returning for a while-but never say never. Ofc I might check the posts on this thread.
Note-I usually tend not to leave my posts up for long so I’ll probably take it down myself in a few days or less. Just want to make sure it has some exposure before I do.
17 comments
i’m so sorry that you had to experience (i don’t really know the whole situation) but i hope at least you can take a bit of a break from this website and away from people that are toxic. it’s good that you wrote this out — it’ll hopefully give people something to think about or take more action on incidents like these. i wish you the best of luck!
Thanks kindly, yes I think it’s time to take a break, if not leave SP entirely. I hope some mod is reading and has considered my suggestions but I won’t hold my breath.
Ya I would’ve gotten into detail but then it would’ve been twice as long so that’s why I left it out. I appreciate it, likewise.
What was your post about? I have been called a troll before but did not have any part in having your post deleted. It must have been something that really crossed someone’s feelings. So I am wondering what would that have been exactly?
I had a post in moderation yesterday. It was a simple, three word question. So I know what you mean.
I think posts go into moderation by an automated filter. The mods don’t control it except to remove posts from moderation that don’t belong there.
There have been problems lately. I think Muspelhem and someone else have experienced it as well. I have too, I assumed I was banned, but here I am.
Maybe reach out to the moderator(s). There may not be enough manpower to moderate real-time, so they may need to rely on filters. They try to be fair, I’m sure, but it doesn’t seem like it when a post is deleted with no explanation whatsoever.
Months ago I took the time to report a few that were obsessed with discussing specific methods to kill yourself, and it seemed to me that ADMIN here does not even exist (no real live monitoring of any posts or complaints) –
And while that might be acceptable for another type of free board, it certainly is not for a suicide site (people pondering life vs. death decisions).
Sadly, I think the board only safe for those with chronic (not acute) thoughts of death.
It would be helpful to know how many actually died as a direct result of inappropriate posts here or lack of real-time monitiring.
My guess is it is very high.
I know I’ve surprisingly felt much worse after being here a few times –
A shame that’s the reality.
Just writing this in hopes it helps someone else – Cause for me this site pushes me closer to being acticely suicidal, then away from feeling that way.
I may use it for that purpose,
cause every fiber of my being is against suicude (self-murder), but reality is at times that really is the best “choice”.
– A shame, this site seems to push me in the direction, to want to die, more than live.
And this time, I won’t assume I’ll get any responses to my thoughts, cause over + over here it’s apparent that my presence or value as a living human is very low.
Not sure if I’m invisible or just undesirable? And yes, I know writing more than 5 words kinda turns off many unwilling to read anything more than a catchy short remark. (Like my lengthy posts).
…IDK.
Conclusion: Since nobody here would notice or care if I was dead tomorrow, next week or month, JUST LIKE IN MY REAL LIFE, (excluding any1 who wants money from me, like hotel staff),
I’d say that’s a really good indicator that my life and living really serves no purpose whatsoever=The plain hard truth I try so hard to ignore.
Sorry post too long. Thanks if you’re one of the very few who cared enough to read it in entirety.
Just wondering, maybe this is simplistic, somewhere in the rules or FAQ on here I remember reading that a report on a post more than a week old might not be acted upon. Maybe that is part of the issue you raise, otherwise I don’t know.
Also in times past I remember absolutely ghastly stuff, like frightening images being posted up on here and then just being left on the site for like half a day or something and now if such is still happening I never see it, perhaps suggesting the “unseen hand” is active but we cannot see what they have taken down. This place ain’t perfect but it is far from run amok, I could say.
I feel like I’m more depressed after reading some posts. And it does sometimes fill my head with ideas I’d rather not have. I would rather help myself through helping someone else.
I got a strict 15 minute window to be on this site. What I do in that time ranges from reading my old posts, writing new ones, and leaving comments for those that may need it.
This site, I think like many others, is one with upsides and downsides. The upsides is where you can post your darkest thoughts you feel you cannot anywhere else and be heard with a chance of being responded to while the downside is waiting for that feedback, the people who have lost themselves by encouraging murder techniques, and those that lose their self in the inner-most thoughts seen on here.
My advice, don’t rely on this site. Just log in to post something that’s really aching, maybe look at one or two posts, and log off. If it starts bothering you more put some more space between the times and days you check in here.
These are both real life. The main and most obvious difference is that we’re here without our names and faces. If we’re gonna make it in real life we have to balance both sides, otherwise we’ll fall in the darkest parts of what is seen on here.
You gotta do something in the real life that keeps you hold on. Like watching sunsets or sunrises. Or walking through a park and take in every single detail. I often record what’s bothering me and listen to it after an hour before deleting it. Holding onto these thoughts and burying it isn’t a way to clear your thoughts. And clearing your thoughts is one of the most peaceful things I know.
That last paragraph, “You gotta do something. . . most peaceful things I know.” is golden.
My post above was mostly to PPPP3
As for my thoughts on what your saying itsme:
I should probably say I’m kinda grateful I took a year-long break from this site then. I post knowing that at least someone stopped by and read it. If it ends up deleted then I continue writing until they dare to delete my profile. My understanding is that my best advice just needs to be heard by someone and anyone and so long as those words are known they can be passed on and/or remembered. It’s annoying when we’re being trolled, it reminds me of another site online I used to use before it was removed due to spammers and haters that messed up the site. That was a site that was actually monitored and when it became too much they took it down while we were still in the glory days before everything could slide downhill.
So either the people running this site are nonexistent truly or perhaps are waiting till there’s barely any positive feeds left. After all, a sight on murder isn’t very conventional for their taste I imagine. Hackers would go out of their way to take something like that down.
If you do take a break, or already have, I wish you happiness and a clear mind! Good luck
**you’re
I appreciate all the replies, sorry I don’t have time right now to respond maybe later if I leave this post up for a bit.
Hi itsme
I readily admit that a) I disregarded your trigger warning and read your post, b) I left a lot of mean-spirited, insulting comments on it, and c) I reported it, maybe unfairly, for promoting eugenics.
I am sorry. I should have come up with some good arguments instead. What made me angry was that you devised some categories for people based on looks, and described yourself as relatively handsome. You then went on to argue that ugly people shouldn’t procreate, because their kids would suffer.
Which I still, frankly, consider a horrible and arrogant thing to say. Especially to suicidal people, some of which are very adept at bringing themselves down over their looks without you chiming in.
That said, if I could have a do-over, I probably would have told you something along these lines:
I don’t think nature is as simple as you make it out to be. You can’t just breed for certain traits and get a good end result out of it. We do that with animals and plants, resulting in breeds that, while displaying very unique features, often are not that viable in the long term. E.g. dogs that can hardly breathe. Or just take the history of inbreeding in royals.
Some of the most physically attractive people I have seen have had ugly AF parents.
Diversity of the gene pool is needed to meet present and future demands of our environment.
And looks are more than just genetic. They have a lot to do with health, grooming, presentation, etc.
And, put simply, not all people value looks as much as you do. Some people are fairly oblivious to them.
I think maybe you need to acquaint yourself with the idea that politeness is not all. If your message is “don’t have kids, you’re ugly, oh, and I consider myself handsome”, it doesn’t really matter how politely you put it. It is not helpful. It is thoughtless and cruel.