Art by rike_art
I’ve always saved others from harming themselves when I’m the one who needed the salvation the most. I’ve always comforted people on their lowest point but I can’t even vent out my feelings to anyone.
I’m a hypocrite.
Whenever I find someone whom I think is suicidal, I try my best to tell them that harming themselves won’t make any difference when I, myself, couldn’t resist the urge to slash the blade across my wrist just to tame my demons for a while.
I tell everyone that everything’s gonna be alright when I know damn hard that nothing will change. I’ve been like this for years already and I am slowly slipping away from my coping mechanism.
I’m tired of saving people around me.
I hope someone will finally give me the salvation I need.
4 comments
I do the same, even in my lowest point I tell people they can keep fighting and keep going when I have no intention of doing the same (yes biggest hypocrite). I think even we feel this way we don’t wish for anyone else to feel how we are.
Just like right now I’m thinking the best time I should end it all and still I want to help you get through it.
So I won’t tell you all will be okay but I can say if you need to talk or someone to listen I can do that.
I’m sorry your hurting this way
I wonder what you meant when you said, you being a hypocrite, I’ll have to read it twice.
I’m a hypocrite too. I tell my buddies not to self-injure and I don’t cut but at the end of the day I’m the one getting a bullet in my brain. I always called it my “go big or go home” self-help manual
I know what you mean I do the same thing when ever I see someone that is hurting and just needs someone, I am there for them but when I need someone no one is there