My husband completed using an exit bag. His reasons seemed to be the following according to his note:
- He couldn’t go on living in fear of false prosecution or being attacked by my friends/ family
- I’d taken our children from him but I was the abusive one
I have to admit he had zero reason to fear being attacked, nobody had ever threatened him, and the person he was afraid of had never met him.
I had threatened to have him sent to prison for domestic abuse, but he was abusive albeit not for years. In his mind, I was going to pretend he was STILL abusive, though this was only in his mind as I never said it.
I had kicked him out of the house for smacking our child too hard, I had threatened repeatedly he wouldn’t have unsupervised visits, but he completed within 2 days. (On previous splits I had threatened no unsupervised visits, but never went through with it, he always saw them and we never split for longer than 2 weeks anyway).
My hubby did have paranoia – he thought I was poisoning his food when I obviously wasn’t, but no other signs of mental illness.
Are his reasons his true thoughts, or was he just trying to make excuses?
Are there other reasons besides mental illness?
He showed no signs of depression, never missed a day of work, appeared normal to his friend, then took his life anyway.
He also left a long long list of apparent abuse I’d done to HIM, some of which was ridiculous (like saying I’d tried to kill him), some of it was true (saying I wouldn’t let him cook or clean which is true cos I’m OCD) some of which he had deliberately twisted to sound worse than it was (saying he couldn’t look at women in underwear on tv, that’s a lie, it’s porn I had a problem with, but I guess he didn’t want to risk anyone siding with me), some of which was petty. It was almost like he sat there trying to think of reasons why I was bad!
I wasn’t the best wife, I did have OCD and give him hell, but I also gave him many good years, ran our home, raised our children, did my best… I love him.
I’ve driven myself insane wondering how he could leave me, and our two young children…