would it be easier if I was just gone?

I woke up today but I just couldn’t bring myself out of bed, I kept telling myself “come one you have to get up, come on you have to get up” but I just couldn’t I just didn’t want to get out of bed and face what the day was gonna bring. Every day I wake up and put on a happy face and act like everything is ok and the ironic thing is when I was little my family used to tell me how much of a good actor I was.
I just want to tell someone but I can’t everyone would look at me like I’m so helpless and feel like they have to tip-toe around me, my friends would try to help when they don’t know how to I don’t even know how to help myself, my family would ask me “where did that little kid go with so much happiness and who was so strong and could over come anything” but that would make me want to cry even more.
So I came to a conclusion it is easier if I just deal with it on my own because I have a less chance of all this pain and all this sadness getting out to someone else if I just leave it to myself to cry in my own arms, to figuring out all the shit I need to figure out