Lulu, Luce and I

so, my mood swings are getting worse and more defined. And its been confusing me more, who am I? so I’ve decided that my ‘quiet thoughts’, ‘calm and reasonable’ self who just loves having fun and making everyone happy is Lulu. And Luce is the very troubled, sad voice, she never shuts up, she is loud thoughts that scream all night so that I cannot sleep, she is the anxious one who attacks me with panics and wants to push everyone away and smash things and plans detailed suicides. This way I feel I can embrace Lulu, and try to forgive and understand Luce, together they make me; Lucy. I don’t know if this idea will work, but so far its helped me realise that Luce doesn’t have control for ever, and to really appreciate Lulu and the relief she brings to Lucy and all my housemates who are equally as thrown off by the hourly or weekly mood swings as I.