New year, New me?

I feel like I haven’t been on SP for a long time now and it’s officially the new year “new year new me” right?, I don’t think it’s gonna be a new me I think I’m gonna keep doing the same old shit and feel the same old shit self I did last year. It is easier said then done to start new to have a fresh start at life when it feels like the same shit hole it did last year. There would be nothing better than to start new to act like I’m not sad more than I am happy and I could cry about one thing and then turn into everything to the point where it hurts. I wish it was easier said than done but it isn’t, if it was wouldn’t everyone have some kind of happiness in there life?

someone had said to me “lately I been seeing you been sad a lot” and all I could think was only if you could imagine, only if you knew that all I want to do is break down, cry, go home and just be alone but I have to get through my day with a smile on my face and some days it works and others I just think what an amazing actor I am.