So, over winter break we were off school for about three weeks, and within those weeks, some chicks, some who used to be my friends, messaged me telling me that I don’t appreciate my friends, I complain too much (which I wasn’t posting here because I’ve been so insecure about talking about my problems), and that I should kill myself since my life is a waste. It caused me three breakdowns that went on for hours, it was awful. On top of it, one of them used to be one of my close friends! I don’t understand why they’d do that, but I’ve come to terms that they were assuming.
Anyway, with all that on my shoulders, my used to be main friend group, constantly talks about me behind my back, calling me a life ruiner. And my final friend group totally ditched me, and that was a huge thing. I have about 3 people I can truly trust friend-wise, but they all come with cons and pros.
My 1st and best friend: K (just saying the first letters)
K is going through the same stuff I am and is actually sweet to me and makes me feel genuinely happy, but with all that’s going on with her, I’m scared that I’ll be too much on her or she’ll get over me. She’s my best friend. I can’t lose her.
C and E
they are both very kind, and funny, but they both drink and vape and just get mixed with the wrong crowd. On top of it they are popular which is scary to me, since being popular just seems like a lot of pressure. I also think I just can’t meet their standards of beautiful. Plus I’m gay and they are straight and they make me feel like the odd one out a bit.
My final thought is, everything is getting worse for me. Relationships being cut off, scars forming. I don’t know. Help.
7 comments
Your ex-friends sound like a bunch of assholes. Coming out is hard. At any age. I was 50 when I came out as bi. I’m married. My husband wasn’t surprised. He seemed glad that I was happy. But I’ve only told a handful of people.
You are a victim of the worst kind of bullying. How dare they tell you to kill yourself! You should show that to a teacher who you trust. Man, I wish I could beat the shit out of them for you.
thank you so much. I’ve talked to several about it, but I don’t think I’m going to end up taking action. I don’t want these people know they get to me. I’ve just brushed it off at this point.
radiolab.org/story/104010-one-good-deed-deserves-another/
it’s okay to be gay.
thank you, I’m trying my best to come to terms with that
I have read your prior post. Which was very heartfelt. Aren’t you a gay male with female friends?
Thank you for being so kind. I’m a female, but I don’t know currently. I might consider myself non binary but I’m not sure. But yes, female friends.