What I mean by that is for example, someone has been raped throughout their child hood and the other person says they have been bullied all their child hood and the girl that has been molested as a kid say’s she’d been through worse. WTF?!?! I hate that. I have depression and anxiety and someone might say “your not going through nothing compared to other kids”. That pisses me off.
I hope I don’t trigger anyone.
6 comments
i have been raped twice as a child.
I think comparing is how us socially awkward try to relate. I am guilty of comparing my life to others’ quite often. My way of trying to figure out how I fall in the spectum of ‘common abuses’ or ‘less common’..
I have a very colourful palette of emotions which comes from my BPD, so comparing for me is a measurement of sorts, to see if I am emotionally over-invested in a past experience.
Not sure if that helps
My therapist told me it makes people feel better. I don’t like that.
I’ve experienced similar. Hell, wait a minute, that was my life at home for twenty five years. I learned that my concerns, my issues were all just so much laughable bullcrap. Hence, my permanent inferiority complex and desire to just keep it all inside anymore. Why bother “getting it out” when every time you do, you’re automatically invalidated by those who “had it worse?”
A sense of perspective can be gained at times by using the comparison method. I can, at times, realize that there is always someone who had it worse than me. Holds true for everyone. But to have it rubbed in your face, used AGAINST you, not a good thing.
I think when making comparisons of that nature, the intentions are good. They’re trying to relate and put themselves in the other person’s shoes. However, people will have to understand that you can’t always relate to everything, and that lying or 1 upping for the sake of attention alone is just a shitty thing to do, especially in that context..
Just my 2 cents.
Comparing problems is awful, it often makes the other person feel like you don’t care about their suffering and you just care about yours instead. Wondering what’s up with your therapist, he/she should know better. That said, yeah, some people do feel better when you tell them you have it worse, but in my case it’s often the other way around.