I’ve been with my boyfriend about a year and well… Now he’s my fiancé. We got engaged the 1st of this month and get married the 1st of November.
I know “*groan* You’re engaged Bri you should be happy not on this site!!!”
See the thing is I’m 19 and even though I’m below poverty line and considered disabled I don’t qualify for assistance on my insurance so those medicines I have been on for a year now that work really well? Poof! Gone.
Not only that but I realized that I had gotten an addiction of sorts to the one that was a controlled substance. I wasn’t abusing it, its just after having to take a high dose of it every day for a year and extra doses when I was having a bad day and then it suddenly being cut off my body is screaming because I feel like I need it. I do need it. I’ve been a wreck!
Luckily for me, though, my fiancé loves me even if I’m crying a lot of the time and want to tear my skin off. I think right now him, our cats, and our dog are the only reasons I haven’t went and done something to make these feelings stop. Its just been a really low few weeks and this morning (since it is currently about 5:30 AM) has been the lowest point. He has held me for the past few hours to keep me from hurting myself when I had a meltdown. I cried so much the bed is wet and he’s finally asleep since I’ve calmed down and I feel so damn guilty and every time he wakes up he mumbles how much he loves me and doesn’t want me to hurt myself anymore. If I try to move he grabs me and I know its cause he’s afraid I’m going to hurt myself.
I wish i could make this feeling go away, not only for myself but for him too. He deserves better… But I’m glad he chose me.
I guess that’s my life update.
13 comments
Hello Bri. I am sorry this med withdrawal is so awful. Thank you for telling about the meds withdrawal so others will know.
FWIW, the all natural stuff has done a good job for my depression and anxiety. They are available at relatively low cost for as long as I want to use them. Side effects are hardly worth mentioning.
How long did it take yours to work?
It was gradually over about 3 months.
You take St. John’s wart, right?
Yes, that is one of them. Also fish oil in capsules and a bioavailable folate.
What is that last one?
Folate is the natural form of vitamin B9. B9 is a synthetic. Roughly half the population can not assimilate B9, leading to depression for some. Folate can be assimilated by most people. However some people have a genetic mutation and even folate can’t be assimilated by them. So for them, and everyone else as well, there is L-Methylfolate, an improvement upon folate, bioavailable to practically everyone. If you can’t find it on your supermarket shelf just catch it on amazon.
The first time I tried it I got a mild but unmistakable high, that is how much my body was missing it. The high was gone in a few hours, along with most of my depression frequency and depth, as I would soon realize. The fish oil and St. John’s Wort, added later, have made depression quite rare in me theses days. Anxiety went away, almost entirely, as well.
Thanks for the info. I’ll have to remember to keep an eye out next time I go.
I’m leery of going a medical route because it involves talking and.. I’m afraid of getting worse with anything. But mindfulness alone doesn’t seem enough lately.
I did start taking St John’s Wart last week in trying an outside aid.
I will definitely look into natural stuff to see if it’ll take an edge off of it. Not only was I on medicines for bipolar and anxiety, but I was on seizure medicine too. I am going through a lot of hell right now! But hopefully this will help.
Would be nice if it helps. I should mention that I started off taking about half the amount recommended on the bottles. Not much would happen. At the full doses the results got started on their way.
Every girl looks for that “relationship” and getting married.,,,
Honestly, at 19, you might hate me for saying so, but 19 his too young,,,,
I say that because of statistics,m proving they rarely last,,,,
I mean, I can go into details, and all you will tell me is “I know it is right”… and maybe it is, but likely in the long run it will end up hurting you…once reality sets in.
people are unpredictable, everything can just change one day they’ll wake up and be like nahhh I don’t wanna be with you anymore… So just enjoy what you have and hope that doesn’t happen
Depends,,,,
Yes, the modern thing is mostly that…
Back when my parents were married, relationships were more sincere and genuine,,
Todays society is a throwaway society,,,, no instant gratification,,, its time to throw the other person away and move on.
This is why I don’t date….