It all started in 7 grade the year of 2017 in the month of April that i lost my virginity to one of my brothers friends he was 18 i was 14. He made me promise him i wouldn’t tell anybody and i didn’t, but he told everyone then told my brother and dad then moved out and when i started going out or school all i would get is dirty looks and people would say things about me behind my back. Started calling me names “slut” “whore” “skank” “*****” i tried to ignore it but it just kept being thrown at me. Once spring break came along i didn’t go back and the rumours got worse. I tried to homeschool and didn’t finish it. The summer came along and i started to cut. Grade 8 came along and i got put into catholic school. I felt like everyone hated me and i had no friends, so i started skipping school, avoiding family, staying isolated. Then the suspensions came along and they wouldn’t stop. I was so close to being expelled and this was all going on i started cutting deeper and deeper as the years went on. summer came along and i stayed inside wearing long sleeves and long pants but it didn’t matter cause the blood would seep through. August 31 2017, Grade 9 i started the school year off with a great start, but then things went down the same path like grade 8, only this time i was expelled. I didn’t know how to feel Happy,Sad,Mad, i felt none of those i felt relief. I thought things would get better here on in because i wasn’t in school, but i was wrong. November the cutting started and i had attempted suicide already 12 times that year and my cuts just kept getting deeper and deeper as months went on. In January of 2018 i went to the rec centre in my town and saw some friends there and hung with them, before i left home i put a knife and blades in my bag and had the plan of running away, but the staff there found out and wouldn’t let me go to the youth centre with that stuff in my bag so i hid them in my leggings and said i threw them in the snow. One of my friends hid the knife and i hid the blades. But at the end of the night when youth night was shutting down my said to one of the staff members there “By The Way me and Jessika still have them with us and have had them the whole time”. And i was freaking out cause i didn’t know why she would do that and didn’t know the outcome of this. A while later a Peace Officer shows up and asks what i was planning on doing with these weapons and i said ” i’m gonna run away and kill myself.” Around 11:30 P.M. that night i tried leaving the rec centre but he was walking toward me trying to stop me, just i was trying to leave an RCMP officer shows up puts me in hand-cuffs and says i’m under arrest under the mental health act and being in possession of weapons. I was then taken to the police station got a search and taken to the hospital. I spent 12 hours in the hospital then i was sent woods homes which is a mental health treatment program and to this day i’m on 5 different medications and have 8 different diagnosis’s and am still in treatment.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Sincerely@jessika
2 comments
I indulge myself in music. No vocals, just instrumental. It takes my mind away from all the shit around. If you can, find your music, or something that can indulge you whole heartedly.
You may feel better.
Good luck.
What a terrible situation you were put in.
You are a normal girls, you just wanted to know your body, to feel touched. You felt as a woman when you decided to have sex, what the problem? None!
Then kids from school started bullying you, starting to make you belive that you did something wrong, you could have, and you still can sue that pedophile from having sex witha minor, why your parents didn’t go to the Police? We got the burden from something you are innocent.
The school is terrible, what that girls think? They will never make out with guys? That they ate saints and go to heaven? It’s easier for them to burn in hell a virgin than you who didn’t do anything wrong.
Also, you are healthy and these so called doctors, psych, shrinks, they diagnosis you as sick to have work, but you are not.
You don’t want to die because of you, you feel forced to die because the way society has started treating you, like a monster.
You felt rejected, when you shouldn’t, your parents should have put that boy in jail, even if you allowed, he couldn’t have done that.
By the laws of my country that guys should be in jail and paid a very high compensation to you plus all the treatment, private schools wherever you need.
Look for a lawyer, when you have the opportunity, you are what 15 now right?
Go to a criminal lawyer and say that you were raped, that he forced himself into you.
You tried to scream but you couldn’t.
Don’t feel ashamed of it its true by the law you were raped.
If you want to die fine, but first get revenge don’t let him live a good life after destroying yours destroy him too.
Please do what I say for the sake of justice.