This is my first post here but I have lurked for a long period of time.
A bit of backstory, December last year I attempted to kill myself, I was suffering from depression, health issues and basically doing nothing, I had basically no friends, job or a life, living with my parents, overweight and unattractive, although I had lost around 15-20kg trying to better myself
A few weeks after I met a girl that changed me, We went out every few days, texted non stop and I felt better with this connection in my life. She never judged me for anything. I was more motivated and happier. There was some romantic connection but it was mainly just good friendship.
This went on for several months and things were fine but at some point a few weeks ago she went distant on me, mainly due to her having lots of her own stuff to deal with ( I assume so anyway) but I made the mistake of trying to figure out what was going wrong, feeling like I did something to cause this and with her ignoring my texts I ended up overreacting trying to get an answer. She eventually repiled back but it basically not wanting to talk anymore. She might text me again one day but its been weeks and I have the feeling the friendship is probably over. I feel so upset with myself not just giving her space.
So basically I’m alone again and after having what I had im struggling to cope, After years of having no friends I was kind of used to it but after experiencing it and now losing it again it’s been hard. Especially when I was relying on what we had to get through my daily struggles, and it was giving me the inspiration to keep going with my goals and weight loss. I feel so empty about the whole thing, Im still trying to get out, maybe try make some friends somehow but i’ve always been so bad at it. Everything just feels so numb and I just zone out, I try get out a few times a day but I have so much down time where I’m at home doing nothing and I hate it. I don’t know if i’m suicidal right now but everything seems so pointless to me
6 comments
Hey….
2 yrs ago I fell into deep depression… unfortunately I met a girl who “understood”….
Very long story short, it ruined my marriage and myself. She betrayed me and made a call to get me put in a mental health hospital.
Why would I tell you? Simple…. to let you see that this is all an internal situation. At least as far as how we perceive ourselves.
You can stand up and overcome the veil of darkness. Please realize that you’re in control of your vision. No one is better or worse. We are all one and everyone is just as they should be.
I’m bad at conveying my thoughts, but let me leave you with this….
Everyone you’ve ever met sees you differently than you see yourself. You are multitudes of different people, yet, you are still you. And you’re perfect.
We are pr own worst critic. You are far superior than you perceive.
If nothing else…. someone, someone you have no idea who they are….. just realized that. Stay strong me friend.
I like what you say, it makes sense. Especially when you say that every person sees you differently than you see yourself. Puts things into perspective.
Thanks for the reply, you’re right and have giving me some things to think about, thankyou
Down time is a perfect time to meditate and reflect. Work out as well.
Just remember that you made it happen and you can make it happen again. 6 billion people on this planet. That’s quite a few more opportunities.
Come to think of it….. I could use a friend. Want to be my friend?
You’re right, I’ve been swimming, gym and anything else to keep my minds off things, it helps a bit and is self improvement.
I’d like to be your friend
You can e-mail me
Lifeisasewer at gmail