Taunting Sign

Hello. Suicide hasn’t been that prevalent until recently. It was going semi ok until now. I need to get back on my meds. It hasn’t gotten to the point where all I can think about is jumping, but it is something that keeps popping up. I work nights, so coming back to the parking garage the only spots open are at the top. So I park and get out and go to the stairwell. There, right by the door, is a sign for a crisis hotline. It makes sense. They predicted that people would come up to jump off, so as a last line of defense the put there number in the stair well. Every time I pass that sign, it’s subtly taunting me. Like it’s daring me to jump. I’ve never used one of those hotlines. I already pay my therapist to hear my whine, forcing some dude to do it for free kind of pisses me off. I’m in calculus right now. I should be paying attention, but I don’t really care. I couldn’t finish or even start the last 2 homeworks because I didn’t understand any of it. Oh well. Whatever. Thanks for listening.