How did this happen?

  May 17th, 2018 by ladolcemorte

I know that there is little to be gained from comparing one’s life to what it “should” be…but…

I tried so hard. I did all the “right” things. Got a good education at a prestigious school. Studied really hard. Worked really hard at every job I ever had. Worked really hard at every relationship I ever had–romantic or platonic. Failed at absolutely everything. Everything.

And now I am 35 and I have nothing. I just lost the best friendship I’ve ever had and my place to live. I am house sitting and basically have a week to find a new place to live and a job.

And I’m trying to proof my resume and all I see are gaps and failures. I just googled “how to find a job when you are a gigantic loser and no one in their right mind would hire you”. No helpful advice. Go figure.

I am in a cafe right now. Watching all these young people working on their laptops. It reminds me of when I was in school, studying in cafes. I cannot stop thinking about how disgusted my younger self would be with me right now.

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