I’m dying

From experience, I think the best thing you can do, even to relieve just some of the pain is to speak to someone. But speak to a professional who knows how to handle the situation properly. We all make the mistake of confiding in people who we think will understand but they really don’t. Unfortunately the stigma of selfishness, attention seeking or drama queen is still a common way of thinking. Your parents will most likely freak out and your friends will treat you differently. A professional understands you better than anyone of your friends or family. As weird as it sounds because they know how mental illness works. I suggest you try speak to your school psychologist if you can. They can refer you from there. Just know that you don’t need to suffer, you don’t have to feel this way.