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I’m very embarrassed to say anything about how i’m feeling. I’m very nervous when i have to tell someone how i feel. I have the feeling that i’m burdening someone with my problems. I feel hopeless and empty. My name is Lora and i’m 19. I suffer from depression. That’s why i started seeing a psychologist. I did a few tests and the results said that i do have depression but my psychologist thinks that it is not depression, that it’s a just part of puberty and that it will pass. I haven’t told him about my suicidal thoughts and about my acts of self-harm cause i’m embarrassed. I haven’t told my parents. I don’t want to tell them cause they won’t take it seriously. I’ve been constantly having fights with them ever since i remember. I hate them so much cause they doesn’t let me do anything. I can’t go out cause it’s dangerous, i can’t wear black cause it look as if someone in my family died, i can’t dye my hair cause they will feel embarrassed about it, i  haven’t entered university cause they didn’t want to let me go and live on my own. They didn’t let me pierce my ears but i pierced them without them knowing. When my mother found out she was so mad that she didn’t want to talk to me. I can’t even make a stupid decision by myself. Whenever i have to make a decision i have a feeling that i’m going to fuck up my life for good and regrett it till the end of my life. I want someone to help me. I want to cry everything out and have someone hug me but that is never going to happen. I have so much on my mind that i feel like i’m drowning, i can’t breath. I feel so mad. I really want to die and end everything cause it’s driving me mad.