I have seen so many people in this site do this, just give themselves to the eternal darkness. How?
I have tried twice in the last week, one with a rope, and now with a knife. But the strength just left my arms every time i try, my mind gets foggy, my soul gets empty. I turn myself in a stone, just looking at the damn knife in my hands, paralyzed. I have been crying for weeks now. A empty cry, pure despair, fear, and loneliness. I live now so far from any friend or family, no one would ever find me here. And yet… i have no strength. I just needed to push myself a little more. I just needed the devil’s voice a bit more. God. Why? No one would ever miss me. I don’t have any friends. Ugh… i though i couldn’t be any emptier than that… i was wrong… it can always get worse.
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4 comments
You mention friends/family. Despite living, as you describe, far away it might be worth a call to one of them. While i struggle with my own stuff, I can tell you that back about 20 years ago I lived in Peterborough, Ontario and maybe went through something similar as you.
I don’t know you but given that you mentioned family, it would be worth a call. Even if you call and simply start crying, it has the possibility to help more than not doing anything at all. 🙂
Interesting question, I also ask myself the same question.
It is an incredibly huge decision to make.
I’m struggling with this too. I have it all planned out but I lack a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to actually do it. It makes it all a lot harder.
Read “Suicide and Attempted Suicide” by Geo Stone. You should learn how to safely stage a suicide attempt so you don’t accidentally maim or kill yourself.