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I was hoping things would’ve gotten easier for you..
Now it seems like any options you have aren’t really options.
I think it’s like staying alive has this set path that would avoid further complications down the road for like life progression, and taking a break Or doing something different will screw it up and then you feel worse. Even though mental health is supposed to be important breaks don’t seem forgiven in most things.

If they don’t know they’re torturing you, do you mean that by keeping you alive?
I thought there was some type of coverage that applied to students, maybe I was wrong. Like if you’re under 25 and in college then you get covered by something.. might be my state.
It’s July though. Is that a summer term then or the beginning of the fall term? If you left after a semester was completed would you be able to come back? Even though that’s a long term thing…
Didn’t that visit last year to the hospital give you a reprieve though? Do you have any idea what gave that relief even if it was brief, or if there is a working alternative? I hope there’s a way you can at least have that again somehow.